I’m leaving for the World Race in less than a week. It’s strange typing those words since it feels like I just applied for this trip yesterday. It seems like I’ve been living in a fantasy land these past two months, where time does not exist, each day presenting a new task to accomplish or another friend to spend time with before I leave.
Up until this point, when people have asked me if I’m ready for this journey my immediate answer has been, “Yes. I was ready to leave as soon as I was accepted.” Although there is still so much truth to those words, I recently discovered that there is a tiny part of me that doesn’t want to leave home.
Last night I had the opportunity to spend the evening surrounded by people who have loved and supported me throughout different stages of my life- people I’ve grown up with as well as people I’ve recently grown close to. About half way through the evening, I was hit with an overwhelming sense what I can only describe as gratitude.
I have spent so much of my energy looking forward to what is waiting for me this next year, and I finally realized I haven’t spent enough energy looking at what was right in front of me. My eyes were so focused on the things I wouldn’t see until I left, that at times, my heart forgot how to deeply appreciate all that the Lord has been blessing me with now.
After realizing this last night while I was in the midst of my friends and family, every time I looked at someone I could clearly see and understand how they have challenged me to be a better friend, a better daughter or sister, a better follower of Christ. I don’t understand why God has placed me in an environment that is filled with an abundance of people with such beautiful complexities, how I have been so blessed to be living a life that is in a constant overflow even when I can’t see it. And quite honestly, I don’t want to understand it.
The past two months since training camp have been a peculiar transition period where my current season of life and my future season have been meeting in a stunning collision. I know that this heightened awareness of the gifts God has been bestowing upon me will slowly propel me into a new stage in this journey, one of grief. A season of my life is coming to an end, and I know I will need to take time to grieve all that I am leaving behind so that there’s room for me to grow as I begin this next stage of my story. Yes, I will be gaining a new community of Christ followers throughout the next year, but I am deeply going to miss all of my friends and family at home.
I guess what I’m really trying to say is thank you. Thank you to everyone who has supported me, whether it’s been for the past 24 years or the past 24 minutes. Whether it’s been with words, prayers, friendship, time, or donations, whatever acts of selflessness and sacrifice you have dedicated to me, I can’t say thank you enough. I feel as if I’m taking a piece of each and every one of you with me because I would not be going on this adventure without you.
I can’t wait to share stories of my friends and family at home with the people I meet overseas, continuing and embracing this collision of seasons. And when I get home, I know I’ll be eager to share with everyone about how God has shaped this adventure that you get to take with me.
