Last night I was drifting to sleep when God reminded me of a specific night from India several weeks ago. My team was headed to catch a train from Jabhua to New Delhi. To say we faced several obstacles along the way would be an understatement. This span of 24 hours literally emptied every sense of control and comfort from me.
Beginning with leaving late to the train station, to having a partially blind driver above the age of 60, to almost crashing into a semi along the way, to our vehicle almost exploding [literally] from bombs going off in the road, to missing our train and driving 6 hours to catch a flight to New Delhi, to one of my teammates getting hit with travel sickness…
You could say the odds were against us.
Or rather, the enemy was picking fun at us,
Doing anything to compromise our joy.
The interesting point is that when I reminisce on that night, I don’t shudder with fear, wishing I could block that memory from my mind. It was actually one of the most exciting nights on the Race, and I felt as if God’s joy was lifting my spirits the entire time, allowing me to actually ENJOY the crazy ride!
You might be laughing at me by now, saying that’s ridiculous or I’m making this up, but really! I’m not joking. One of the greatest lessons I have learned on the Race is not allowing ANYTHING to steal my joy. It’s amazing how drastically your perspective adjusts when JOY overcomes whatever trial standing right in front of your face. I dare you to try it.
If I could summarize the persistent themes God has challenged me with on the World Race, it would be the following:
Obedience… Surrender… Dependence.
Letting go of every plan, agenda, dream, desire, hope, fear, question.
Relying fully on the love, faithfulness, control, and sovereign plans of my Father.
Trusting that He always, always, ALWAYS holds authority over my life.
If I’m honest with myself, this month I’ve hit my breaking point. I’ve come to a place where I’m done with these lessons. I get it. I understand God has ripped every sense of control from my heart this year. I’ve let go and let go, and let GO… and then let go some more. Of my future, my calling, my friendships, my comforts, my purpose in His kingdom… I’ve seen the results of placing my entire trust in the Lord, and it truly has become a reward.
Yet I often ask Him how much longer, how many more situations, how many more times until I’m finally able to taste the fruit, to see the benefits of ultimate reliance on Christ. I’m aware of this life I’ve chosen to pursue- a life of reckless abandon for the kingdom of God. I would not trade it in for anything else. But I’ve often found myself in King David’s shoes, pushing through my frustration and commanding my soul to place my entire hope in His strength. It is then that I’m often reminded of one of my favorite Scriptures, Habakkuk 3:19:
“The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.”
And I realize that my prayer has shifted into a question.
More like a desire.
That God would make my feet like the feet of a deer, prepared and designed to face the mountains, the challenges, the hurdles in my life. That whether they be small cases such as our travel obstacles in India to significant trials, He would lead me up these heights… into the everlasting fulfillment of His purposes.
That my longing and affection for HIM would outweigh everything else in this world.
And that nothing could wipe off the smile from my face,
For the joy of the Lord is my STRENGTH!
So I end with a question, or perhaps an invitation.
That you would join me in this declaration, saying,
“YES, God. I give you permission to invade every aspect of my life to draw me closer to your heart. Strengthen and equip me to follow You up the hills. Strip every sense of control within me, replacing it with deeper affection to follow You. Fill my spirit daily with joy and thanksgiving, letting it be a sweet fragrance of worship to You. For I AM YOURS.”
