I’m swinging from two hooks in my hammock right now. I’m on a decent sized boat cruising down the Amazon River. It has three decks. The first deck is where the engines are. The kitchen is also on the first deck. That’s the only time I go down on the first floor is for the food. The second deck is where most people sleep. There’s about 50 to 60 hammocks hanging all around me. There are so many colors and patterns. The third deck is where the snack bar is. At night is the best time to go up on the third deck. The stars here are so bright and beautiful. For miles and miles you can see twinkling specs all over the sky.
We’ve been on the boat for about 28 hours now. We’ve had lots of time to process, read, and catch up on much needed introverted time. The race has been a whirlwind so far, and I’ve already seen so much. My expectations have been met, exceeded, and let down all at the same time.
If I’m being honest when I accepted the invitation to the race; I was looking for a way out of my situation. The year had been a rough one, and I needed change in the worst way. I told myself I wasn’t running, and the race was just an amazing opportunity that would change my life. The race is an amazing opportunity, and I’m so happy that I said yes. However, all those things that made me feel sad or bad about myself didn’t disappear just because I’m traveling across a continent. My problems are still my problems. The race actually has amplified my issues and has pushed me to face them instead of running or hiding.
I’ve realized that to follow Jesus you have to give up a lot of things you want. God never promises that walk would be easy. He’s asking us to deny ourselves, how is any part of that easy. Johnny Cash once said, “Being a Christian isn’t for sissies. It takes a real man to live for God — a lot more man than to live for the devil.” It’s hard and I feel my flesh fighting me all the time. Some days I want to quit. Some days I want the comforts of my hometown. Some days I’m overwhelmed.
I’m quickly reminded of what the Lord says when are hearts are overwhelmed. The point of Christ dying for me was so I could be in relationship with God, so that my heart could find rest in Him.
I’m so blessed to be out here telling others about the love of Christ. He has done so much for me and made so many things new in my life. He is worth following down the Amazon river. He is worth giving up comfort. He is worth surrendering my wants and dreams.
