Diva Cups, Go Girls, and Cathole Kits, OH MY!

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So who all has been backpacking before?  Raise your hand, raise it high!  Guess who is not raising their hand?!?  Yes me!  I’ve never been backpacking, camping, or even glamping (glamorous camping).  So the nerd side of me has immediately jumped into to backpacking classes at REI, research on Pinterest, and making friends with Alumni World Racers and here’s some of the things that I learned that TOTALLY surprised me!

If you are not a woman, you may want to close your eyes because the first thing I came across is information about a Diva Cup.  I am guessing that you are asking “what in the world is a Diva Cup”?  Let me help you to wrap your mind around this… Think of a woman from back in the day; imagine Game of Thrones.  How would you manage that time of the month?  There were no tampons, applicator or not.  If we bring it to modern times, what if you are allergic to tampons, pads, and pantyliners?  What if you are environmentally conscience?  The Diva Cup is answer to your needs!  It is a inter-vaginal menstrual cup that can be worn from 12 – 24 hours, removed and cleaned, and then reinserted throughout the length of your period.  I’ve never heard of such of a thing until I started researching backpacking for women on Pinterest. Mind blown for the first time…

But it gets better!!!  What about those times when you need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night?  I’ve been warned many, many times “MAKE SURE YOU GET A HEAD LAMP”!  Think about it… you wake up in the middle of the night with that urge to pee.  You scramble to put another layer of clothes.  You hurry out into the dark night to a spot that is a reasonable distance from camp, but also seems to be clear.  You pull down your pants, go to cop a squat, and jump back up because you got poked in the Dereon with a branch that was sticking straight up.  SMH!!!  By now the pee has probably run down your leg… O_o  So help a sister out.  What’s a girl got to do to get a release?  A head lamp is mandatory, but there is also the Go Girl to the rescue!  This specially designed funnel, available in Pink and Purple, enables women to urinate without having to cop-a-squat.  If you are really good at this you could probably keep a pee bottle that says ***POISON*** right next to your camp bed and never leave the tent!  I understand the practicality, but let me be transparent in saying that at the point I had discovered this information, it had not crossed my mind that there is a chance I may not have running water, a toilet, or even latrine accessibility.  My mind was blown for the second time…

I would love to tell you the surprise ended there, but then you would miss the best part!  Did anyone know, because I sure didn’t, that when you have to do a number 2 in the woods that you have to dig a hole first?!?!?  I mean I really didn’t know how it worked, obviously, but to learn that I have to first measure out 200 feet from camp, then dig a whole that has to be a certain amount deep, and then actually aim my tootcuse so that I actually get the poo in the hole and then bury it was the point where it’s time to drop the mic!  I mean men never make it in the whole and they have been aiming and shooting all their lives!    I can’t help but wonder, what did I get myself into?

If I thought this journey was going to start when I got on the plane I was greatly mistaken!  Commence Learning 101 post dated April 22nd!