It’s been three weeks since my acceptance to the World Race for the January 2020 Route 1. And let me tell you, IT HAS BEEN THE MOST DIFFICULT 3 WEEKS — all caps for dramatic purposes. Satan really knows what he is doing. He truly is like a roaring lion ready to prowl and devour (1 Peter 5:8). I have been attacked with fear, anxiety, doubt, guilt, and all kinds of lies and negative thoughts! I bowed my head as I internalized all the lies. Lies that I am not equipped with the right heart, right skills, right gifts and talents, and a life with the perfectly painted past and present. Lies that an introvert like me will never survive spending 11 months in community with complete strangers. Lies that I am not worthy to be fundraised, to be invested in, to be in community with. Lies that my ‘knowledge’ about Jesus and the Bible is not enough for me to preach the Gospel, to proclaim His Word. Lies that my past is too stained, too tainted, too un-extraordinary that no one will ever want to hear what I have to stay. Lies that I am not worthy to be fundraised and invested in by my community. Lies that I am just not enough, not worthy for this wonderful opportunity. The devil kept saying ‘Who the heck are you?! You ain’t no one, sistah!’. And sadly, I rolled with it, like a pig rolling in the mud on a hot sunny day. I quavered in the corner feeling defeated, feeling useless, feeling like an impostor (i.e., impostor syndrome), and ultimately, feeling like I am not worthy to be called for this mission trip.
But my Abba Father, the God I serve, love and adore, is so much more powerful, mighty, and strong! Romans 8:31 said that ‘if God is for us, who can truly be against us?’ No one! Today when my man Jesus and I were chilling and meditating, He said something that truly rocked my world — I mean He always does. He told me that as long as we are of flesh, the devil will always be there. He will always attack with lies, temptations, fear, and more lies. But the fabulous news is that I have the choice to not listen, and give in, to those lies and fears and doubts! I can say ‘hasta luego’ to satan’s lies and be done with him. And you know why I, and you, can do that? Because the God who created the heavens and earth LIVES IN ME! Hallelujah! Praise the Lamb! He has given us the Holy Spirit who now resides in us! We only have to surrender and obey, and let the Holy Spirit change us and guide us. Those lies that Satan tells us are all just that — LIES. Jesus, the King of all Kings, died for ME. Little ol’ me! So I am enough. More than enough. I am worthy. I am worthy. Let me shout it one more time — I AM WORTHY, I AM MORE THAN ENOUGH. When I tell people that I will be going to a mission trip there have been two responses: 1) “Oh cool, have fun!” and 2) “Where are you going and for how long?”. I prefer the second option, obviously. However, when I respond that I will be going on a World Race for 11 months to 11 countries, the reaction has been hilariously unabashed. Paired with a quizzical and confusing look they say “ARE YOU CRAZY?!”. In which I boldly answer with yes. Yes, I am; crazy for Jesus and His Kingdom.
So why abandon the comforts and stability of my home, work, church, and friends? Because He said so! Parents and teachers you know that when we say that to our kids and students, it is always responded with either complete obedience and surrender or complete defiance. And a month ago, and everyday until He calls me home, I will choose to obey and surrender. Simple as that sounds writing it now, oh boy was it not at first. Like Jacob at the dessert, I was wrestling with Him. I did not want to give up a stable career, fulfilling ministries at church, and the comforts of modern America. But that’s the problem isn’t it? We have gotten so comfortable being safe, secure, and always knowing what is the next step in our lives. We are comfortable with the stability and security of having a career, with the known, and just being in control of our own lives. We are comfortable sitting at church listening to sermons Sunday after Sunday, or going to volunteer at a food bank one Saturday each month. We are comfortable with going to our weekly Bible study and the occasional evangelism outreach to the local senior center. Modern American churches have gotten too comfortable, too okay with doing the bare minimum.
But God has called us, called me to deeper waters. To ride the strong currents of uncertainty, of uneasiness, of unknown where His grace abounds, where His sovereign and loving hand will guide, and where my faith will be made stronger. For months, I’ve been fervently praying and actively searching for a mission trip that will lead my feet into deeper waters. I am done standing in comfortable waters. I am done being okay with doing just enough. I am done not listening and obeying to what He has called me to be. I am called for a higher purpose. The resurrected King lives in me. I am stepping out of bold faith, and allowing the power of God to overcome and use me for extraordinary things. I am surrendering to His will, and where He goes so will I. To places where I will be stretched, challenged, and tested. To situations and events where (and when) God can show up with His radical and unequivocal love; never-ending grace; mercy that is new every morning; peace that surpasses all understanding; and unspeakable joy (even amidst difficulties). I am going to the World Race because it will go to places where injustice, poverty, pain, and suffering pulsates. But I believe this where also God shows up. Where victory and redemption lives. Ultimately, I am going to leave my full-time jobs and ministries, my comfortable bed, and the comforts of being with my people because I want Jesus and nothing else will do. I know the unexplainable joy of being caught in His presence, of being loved by Him and of loving Him, of sharing His cross, and of giving Him ALL the glory. I am going to the World Race because I want EVERYONE to experience the fullness of Him.
So here I am, humbly asking you to invest in the kingdom of God. To invest in a work field with sole mission to tell the world about the Gospel truth — that He loves youso much that He died on the cross as a penalty of our sins so we can spend eternity with Him. WOWZA. Let’s hear it all the way from the back of the church pews, HALLELUJAH GOD IS GOOD! I am also humbly asking you to invest in the business of loving others with full abandon, no judgement, and no expectation of returns. Whatever you believe in, we can agree that we are all called to love. To love our neighbors. To love the unloved, the ones that live in the margins of society. It is not my job to judge anyone, to change them, and more importantly to save them. My job, my ultimate purpose, is to love because He first loved me.
Thus, I need to raise support. The greatest support I could ever receive is that of prayer. Would you consider walking alongside me through this next season in prayer that my squad and I would have open minds and be willing to step out of our comfort zone to bring light to some of the darkest parts of the world? It is our desire to be nothing more than the hands and feet of Jesus to every person we encounter.
In addition to prayer support, I want to humbly ask you to consider supporting me, and the Kingdom of God, financially. I am needing to raise $20,000 over the next year which will cover cost of all transportation, food, housing, insurance, traveling equipments, and other miscellaneous costs. Please prayerfully consider supporting me during my journey. Any amount that you feel led to donate will help! And all donations are tax deductible.
May He shower you with favor, love, joy, and peace! Thank you from the deepest parts of my heart for taking the time to read my blog, and if called to, to support me in however you can.
Blessings upon blessings,
raquel xoxo
