“How is fundraising going?”
That is the question that I’ve been asked over and over and over again for more than a year.
Yet a year later, I still don’t know how to answer the question.
Good? Great? Not so good? Should I always say that it’s going well, because God is always providing?
It’s Month Ten on the World Race. Month TEN. I am going home in 55 days and I am still fundraising.
At this point in my Race, it’s easy to feel doubt, anger, sadness, and bitterness; to start comparing myself to the people around me, and my fundraising journey to their own.
Why am I still fundraising? Why am I still thousands of dollars away from being fully-funded? Why is it that so many people were able to raise $16,254 before even launching in January? Why could more than half of my squad be fully-funded before July 1st? Why is it that there are five of us who are still struggling to meet these deadlines, three months later? Why have I always been the person on the squad with the highest financial need? What am I doing wrong? What have I failed to do that all the other people on my squad have done well? Do people believe in me less than they believe in the people who are fully-funded? Am I not trying hard enough, or am I not loved enough? Do people simply not care? Why is it that I send out message after message after message and get ignored nine times out of every ten messages I send? How is it fair that I haven’t been able to enjoy the Race like everyone else has, because fundraising has always been weighing on me?
In all honesty, it’s hard writing all of this without crying. Since I’m not a public crier, I think the reason I’m holding it in is because I’m on the World Race and I’m currently surrounded by about ten people.
Today is October 1st, which marks the first of three deadlines I have been given by AIM. They have extended me so much grace and have given me a series of extended deadlines throughout the last three months, but now I am setting them back. My not being fully-funded is affecting the finances of the organization itself. They need the money so that they can afford to keep me on the field. If I don’t fundraise what I need, they cannot afford to keep me. They can’t feed me, lodge me, or transport me anywhere. If I don’t fundraise what I need, the most cost-effective thing they can do is send me home.
Today is October 1st, and I am supposed to have $14,600 in my account. Today is October 1st, and I am still $525 away from this deadline.
It’s Month Ten on the World Race. Month TEN. I want to go home in 55 days, and not any earlier. I don’t want to be sent home early and I don’t believe God called me on the Race to send me home two months before the end. I believe God called me on the Race to stay on the Race for ELEVEN full months.
Will you help me? Will you let God work through you and become a vessel of His provision?
