Since arrving in South Africa in September, I have been fasting junk food (chips, candy, cookies, ice cream, etc.). I asked God why I was fasting and for how long. And for a few days I was still unsure. During one of my alone prayer times, I heard "Remember why you're here". And it was clear that the purpose of my fast was to keep my focus on Jesus. So God has definitly given me the strength to endure through this fast. Now I am in month 2 of my race (and still in South Africa) and I am almost surprised at how well i've been doing. I asked God a few times how long this fast is to last. And just a few days ago I heard the words "life change" repeated over and over in my head. This was my respose, "No more junk food for the rest of my life?!?! Wow! Uhhhh, well, ok God. As long as your helping me, I'll do it". Seriously, I have not had the urge or desire to eat anything; even when my team is eating all kinds of junk food around me…lol.
There is still more to this fast though. So, there is a cross outside of the house we are staying at. My team and I came up with an idea to lay stuff at the foot of the cross as a sign of surrendering. So this week we're wrting stuff down on paper and putting them into a vase or jar that we will put before the cross. So I have been asking God what is it that He wants me to let go of, what is getting in the way of who He wants me to be, or what is it that I run to first before going to Him. I came up with a small list so far: Fear, laziness, my future, my voice (I was told that I was a worshipper and I didn't want to receive it, but I am going to give God my voice), my obsession with the Twilight series (He actually told me about that one for a long time, but i never listened), junk food, fast food, television, and myself (which is my body, my mind, and my heart).
My team mate reminded me of the words I recieved; "Life Change". She brought me to Romans 12:1-2, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrafices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will". God is going to take me through a life change. Body and Mind. And the process has definitly begun.
My desire for God is way stronger than my desire for a box of cookies.
"With all that I am, I place into Your loving hands! I am Yours".
You are the potter and I am the clay. Mold me as you wish! The clay will sometimes mess up. But God uses the same clay and rebuilds it. As long as it stay in the hands of the potter it will be ok' The purposes of God are going to be worked out.
