This was my journal entry from the first week of ministry here in Swaziland at “El Shaddai”. I just want to share my heart with you. And if you can join me in this prayer over myself and my team, it would be greatly appreciated.
“I am sitting on a large rock, on top of a mountain, looking out at the distant mountains, valleys, streams and clouds. God I asked you to show yourself to me and you are definitely here. To think that what I am seeing (which is breathtaking) is nothing compared to you and your face. Every dip and curve of the mountain is like looking at your fingerprints everywhere. God whenever I look at your creation I am awed by the fact that the God who created the heavens and the earth, the God who created the mountains and the valleys, would love me and care about me. Small, simple, insignificant me. I am less than a crumb, less than a molecule compared to the vastness of the universe. Bet yet, you chose me. You created me and care about every little thing of my life. I am honored, humbled and amazed at that. I will never completely understand your love for me, but I thank you.
I am starting to feel you. Starting to see you. I see you in the curves of the mountains. I see you in every leave of every tree. I see you in every blade of grass that sways side to side. I feel you as the wind wraps me in its arms. I see you in every cloud that passes by. I feel you as the sun warms my body. I feel you in the coarseness of the rocks. I see you flowing through the creeks and streams. I smell your presence in the high altitude of the mountain. I feel you leading me as my feet touch the dirt. God you are here. I want this month to be a month of true intimacy with you. So much so, that even when I come down from this mountain and return home, and even when I don’t physically see you or feel you, I want to know that you are there and be so in tune with you. I want to be able to hear your voice even in the busiest and loudest of places. I want to know your voice so well that it sounds like your screaming at me. I want to walk the rest of my life here on earth by being led by your voice.
I love you God. And Jesus, I know that I am your bride, but sometimes I don’t feel like I am. I want to fall in love with you and be so in love with you that nothing else matters. I want to be passionate about you. I already feel like God’s daughter and princess, but not like your bride or lover. Have your way Lord. Have your way on this mountain, at El Shaddai, with my team, with me. Let your will be done this month, this year, and until eternity. All glory, honor and power be unto you. Amen”.
