Do you recall ever physically doing something but not mentally be in control of what you're actually doing? Of course, logically that doesn't make sense, but makes perfect sense spiritually.
So far, this past week has been the busiest week I have had this semester with school, work, and attending other functions in addition to studying for exams. With all that was going on, I was able to find peace in Him.
I find that when you're in the midst of an event where you have to do work because of some deadline you're completely in control of yourself resulting in stress, but when you do work for God you're not in control of yourself rather the Holy Spirit moves you to do what is necessary to feed your spiritual needs- that is if you allow yourself to be moved, but then again if you really trust God you wouldn't have the problem trying to fight the Holy Spirit for control- ultimately making things easier to deal with during those events and you feel like you just happily earned 10 points for boosting your confidence. When you're doing work for Him you find a greater sense of clarity, peace and better acknowledgement of yourself towards everything in life.
Amidst my busy week, I was faced with oppositions that the devil was really trying to put in my face convincing me to change my mind about taking on this journey. Whether it be from parents, learning new information about the journey that may make you think twice about going, or negative thoughts said by others. In the beginning of making the choice to do something big, you find yourself fully set and locked on achieving this goal. So, when I experienced such odds, I felt the Holy Spirit compelling me to override such negativities by reminding me how important following Jesus is (Matthew 13) in comparison to what we conformed ourselves to do for the American dream. Driven by the Holy Spirit, I didn't feel mentally in control when I faced the oppositions and, frankly, it felt good. I found myself receiving more power from the Holy Spirit by filling my mind with more "spiritual juice" by looking up verses/stories in the bible referenced in the books that I am still going over, doing my Quiet Time, or just being alone with my thoughts with God.
All I can honestly say is that by wanting to do work for God and giving Him the trust I need to succeed (Joshua 1), I find things a lot easier to deal with emotionally than trying to figure out if I can fix it on my own.
