…because I learn that I’ve gone from $3,000 short of the financial deadline to FULLY FUNDED in about five seconds. The moment that I had been waiting and praying for for months culminated with one click and an opened e-mail.
“This person just donated $3,000.”
I was literally speechless. I sat there stunned, not breathing, triple and quadruple checking how many zeros I was looking at. I just received a $3,000 donation. I’m fully funded. What? Is that right? Maybe it was an accident. No, I’m fully funded. Holy crap! I’m fully funded! Just like that? No. Yes! Just like that! I’M FULLY FUNDED!
There’s a small glimpse into all the things I was thinking in that moment. Once my friend Derek looked at the e-mail (since I was too stunned to explain), we celebrated. My best friend Hannah said, “I need you to give me that (my chicken wrap from the Chicken ’N Falafel place in Kathmandu). Now I need you to take a lap around the restaurant.” And that’s exactly what I did. As I passed the very perplexed waiter I said, “I’M SORRY I’M JUST REALLY EXCITED RIGHT NOW” and continued running.
Friends let me tell you, the fundraising process was not easy for me. I struggled long before coming on the Race and it only got harder once I was on the field. The Lord brought me to some really dark places questioning if He cared, if He wanted me here at all, if I was doing something wrong that was making Him not provide for me.
It was rough for a while. Every time a teammate or squadmate received a donation, I had to fake excitement while secretly dying inside. I was overcome with jealousy and bitterness thinking “Why is the Lord providing for them and not for me?”
Then my perfectly gentle, loving Father lead me to a podcast by Judah Smith called “Life Is To Trust God In Every Moment.” And not-so-gentle Judah Smith spoke straight truth into my life. If you are struggling with anything concerning God’s provision, go listen to that podcast right now. Seriously.
After listening to this, I was set free to rejoice with those who rejoiced over financial blessings. God took me to a place of complete trust in His timing and His provision. I no longer had to fake excitement when someone else on my squad got fully funded and I still hadn’t received a single donation.
It was once I got to that place that the Lord decided I was ready to receive that blessing. I’m not saying that’s how He always works, but that’s how he worked this time.
This lesson was hard. I was stubborn for a very, very long time (weakness of an ISTJ). But honestly, I’m thankful that it was hard. I’m thankful I wasn’t fully funded before leaving, like I had prayed for. Because if it wasn’t for God’s perfect timing, I wouldn’t have learned steadfastness, or faith, or trust, or any of the other good and perfect things I learned through this season of waiting on the Lord.
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” – James 1:2-4
Thank you immensely to every single person that prayed, donated, and supported me in anyway. I could not do this without you. I love you.
