Can I just be real with you guys? Things aren’t always rainbows and butterflies when it comes to the Race. When I was first accepted to the World Race about a month and a half ago, I was so excited. I couldn’t believe what I was doing, and I often thought myself crazy for pursuing such a thing.
While I’m still excited, I think I’ve entered a season of doubt. Doubt that I can even do this. Doubt that God will equip me to do this. Doubt that God will provide. Doubt that I even want to do this.
I think this is healthy.
I think all Racers go through this at some point.
And I know there’s freedom to doubt in Jesus. I’m allowed to have these thoughts and fears. My Abba Father is ready to listen and comfort; I need only come before Him.
I know how big God is. I know what He can do. But I also know that He can choose not to do something if He wants to as well. It’s also difficult for me to get things from my head to my heart.
I’ve been wrestling with this the last few weeks. And it’s been hard. It’s not fun to be in a state of questioning God. It’s discouraging to have only 3% of my support raised, not even including gear, shots, or personal money.
But then I think back to all the times I was sitting in silence, waiting on God, listening to Him. And I think about how many times I heard Him say “I choose you; I’m sending you.”
So in my doubt, I choose to believe God, trust Him, and follow Him. Because in the end, it doesn’t matter what I feel, or what I want. All that matters is that I serve a loving God who already has plans laid out for me. All He asks is that I trust and obey.
I need prayer. I’ve been going through some health issues, God issues, and personal issues lately. Will you come along side me in praying for a healthy body, healed from any discomforts preventing me from living my best life. Prayer to be reminded of how great God is. And prayer for strength to fight against laziness, greed, and bitterness.
If you like to participate in end-of-the-year giving, will you consider including me in your donations? Adventures in Missions has worked it out so that processing fees are no longer added to any form of payment. You can make a one-time donation or set up monthly donations by clicking here. This is the easiest and most efficient way, and will also clear into my account weeks faster than sending a check through the mail.
Thank you, and Merry Christmas!
