Today I was reminded of this blog (not that I forgot I told you all I would write it, and I still know that I owe you one more of the ones I had you all “vote” for) but today in the midst of all the relational stuff that was going on I was reminded of what I learned through a little girl named Rachel and shown another aspect of it. I’m gonna flash back to the Philippines for this blog and talk about my favorite child so far on this race… Rachel.
This is her, I’m convinced she’s one of the cutest people on the face of planet earth.
My first night going out to do street ministry, aka playing with the street kids, I saw her running around a walk way overpass near the entrance of the alleyway we always meet the kids in. We made eye contact and instantaneously a game began. She raised her eyebrows and then darted between people and poles, always peeking around to make sure I was still watching, until I would chase after her and then she would just straight up run. That night I got to meet her family too, all 10 of them (mom, dad & 8 children… used to be 10 kids, two have already passed away) lived in a little shack… no bigger than the size of one our dining room tables. It was one of the most humbling experiences getting invited to their home, being shown around, being able to pray over it, and then being told by her dad, Samuel, we were welcome anytime. Remembering the genuineness of his words and how I felt sincerely welcomed by him, hits my heart in a way that still brings tears to my eyes. Later in the month their house actually got torn down because they were technically squatting on property they weren’t supposed to be and their family was once again displaced.
I remembering piling into the truck to leave that night and for a few minutes feeling emotionally numb to the whole experience, or maybe emotionally overloaded and therefore incapable of expressing any emotion would be more realistic. Five minutes into that drive back though and it all came streaming out as tears ran down my face and couldn’t get a word out, even if I’d had words to get out. Typing all this now makes me miss that street, those kids, and that family so much. Specifically Rachel.
Haha, honestly she and I had a weird little friendship, that consisted mainly of that game we started playing the first night I met her. Every night after that, that I would come to the alleyway to play and we would see each other, the game would immediately commence. She would run away, dart in between people, peek around them to make sure I was still following her, and then I would full on chase her until she would realize she couldn’t out run me, she would fall to the ground in a heap, I would her pick her up, spin her around and as soon as I set her down… she’d be off again. There were some nights when we would play this way and then eventually we would feed everyone and I would get to just sit with her and make sure she actually ate all the food we gave her. I also got to meet more of her siblings, Danika, Christian and Christina, who I would play with or just carry around at times. As the weeks went on, those moments became less and less, however, and the game eventually became the only way she'd interact with me.
My last night out there was rough… an onslaught of emotions had hit me about it being the last time I’d probably ever be in that place…and was also a night in which the Lord really opened my eyes to some stuff that had been right in front of me the whole time. It was a night when He showed me just how the simplest things with Him can be so much more if only we have the eyes to see. The night started off weird because I knew it was my last night to see Rachel and her family and to get to say goodbye, but when we arrived we found out about their house being demolished and though her family was around, Rachel was no where to be found. I couldn't help in that moment but to become overwhelmed by thoughts of where she could be and what could be happening to her. It was horrible. 30 minutes later I look up from where I'm sitting her and see her through the crowd of kids and literally all I want to do is run over and give her a big hug out of my joy of her being there, but immediately when we make eye contact… the game begins.
It was during the rest of that night, when all I wanted was to just hang out with her, to stop chasing and just play and be that the Lord began to speak to me about the games that I play with Him. He began to tell me: how you care for her right now is how I care for you, how you desire to just be with her out of the joy of seeing her near you is how I feel about you, how she runs and wants you to chase her but won't just sit with you is how you act towards me sometimes, how you get jealous when she'll play with others and not you is how I'm jealous for you; you desire my attention and yet don't return my affection in just this same way.
Rachel will always be one of my favorite kids because of how the Lord used her to tap me into a bit of how He feels for me. She revealed alot to me about Him over those weeks and especially that last night. I'm blown away at how the Lord can use "the least of these" to give me so much.
