Sometimes, I really suck at writing introduction sentences… right now is one of those times, ha, so I apologize for my lack of a catchy beginning.. but I hope you'll still want to read this. As some of you may know from my recent facebook status, my team and I made it safely to Mbarara, Uganda and it is a b-e-a-utiful place, seriously. It is nestled in the hilly countryside and is home to tons of banana plantations, green plants everywhere, and goats.. that last one doesn't necessarily play into the majestic beauty but you haven't seen cute until you've seen baby goats play with each other on a grassy mound. We arrived last tuesday, had like a day and a half of rest and then jumped right into ministry here by leading a crusade, basically an outdoor church service, in one of the local villages. Every thursday, friday, and saturday while in Uganda we will be leading these crusades in different villages around Mbarara; each week we will move to a different village but for those 3 nights we will be in the same place.
For our first crusade we went to a village of Ngala right up the hill from where our church is located. For the first hour or so we just set up our sound system, played super loud african worship music and had a dance party with all the locals that showed up, mostly children but a few adults. I remember the adults that showed up dancing around like crazy. A particular lady kept coming up to any of us not dancing, grabbing our arms, and pulling us into the group. There was a guy there too, I remember seeing him across the group that was just gettin' at it, in his own world, singing along to the songs and movin' head to foot to the beat of the music. After that some members of the church sang some worship songs for a while, then I shared my testimony and one of the girls from my team, Ruth, shared some scripture and spoke about the freedom we gain in Christ and asked if anyone would like to walk into that freedom. A few people came up, some young girls and a guy, and then that guy who was dancing like crazy earlier came and stood right in front of the women on my team and soon followed a couple of his friends. And something in my spirit was immediately alarmed. We prayed with and over everyone that had come up and when we were done the guys started to talk to us, and we quickly realized how completely plastered they were. I'll be honest, as they started to reach out and lean on the women of my team and inch closer and closer as they talked to them, my compassion for them quickly left and all I wanted them to do was also leave. They lingered around as we packed up the sound system and right before we were all going to pile into the truck I looked back and saw the one guy wrap both his arms over my teammate's shoulders and her discomfort followed by a "what do I do" look immediately followed along with my instant reaction of defensiveness for her. I walked right over to them, grabbed his shoulder, looked him in the eyes and said do not touch her, every ounce of my compassion for him gone as my frustration with his actions had surpassed it.
Later that night, talking to Solomon (the pastor of our church here/ our contact) and his wife we were filled in on the fact that, that village is known around town for its drunkenness, and that most all the adults there are in a constant state of it. My initial thought was, "well that would have been nice to know", but I can see now how the Lord had a lot to teach me through it; the apex of that lesson occured our third and final night up there, saturday evening. Here's the thing with learning things from the Lord too, it rarely, if ever, happens that its a black and white, simple thing for me. It's always way more messy than that because…well, my sin runs deep, all of ours does, so these lessons are usually repetitive and multi-faceted as we always slip and fall back into the muddy mess that is our desires. With that preface, I'll get back to the story.
On the way up to the village I began to feel super homesick and I'd say mildly depressed because of it. I missed home, everyone there, and the life and ministry that I got to be involved in there… generally when I start to get homesick I begin to convince myself that I should probably be there instead of where I am. It's not just a simple, I miss home syndrome, its a full on.. I need to be home, because I could be doing so much more there than I can here belief that kicks in. Which I realize sounds completely ridiculous, but don't most lies that you believe prove that way once your looking back? But so I'm walking up to a village surrounded by beautiful Ugandan countryside, wishing to be back in Kansas City, Missouri and convincing myself that this place is not where I should be… and the Lord simply has me look around. He opens my eyes to the hills covered in beautiful plants and the sky, which I swear seems bigger here, and He reminds me of Romans 1 through it all. So, when we get to the crusade location I decide to take some time and get my heart back to where it should be by reading from there.. because oh by the way, I'm supposed to be the speaker that night. And then comes such a divine little moment from the Lord, because as I'm opening my Bible up to Romans, instead of falling open to chapter 1 it opens to 8 and right in the middle of the pages there is a note. Caleb (my boyfriend) had written me a few of these and hid them in different places of my pack, pockets of clothes and what not and I thought I'd found all of them already, but low and behold the one that's in my bible which I read every day is the one I had yet to find. In the midst of all these emotions of mine though, the Lord had saved this note from Caleb for me, and all it said was "You are exactly where you are supposed to be". I started crying at that point basically because I can't not cry when the Lord so directly intervenes in my life, and especially when He does it in such a gracious way like responding to my homesickness through a note from someone at home. When the tears slowed and I regained my vision I decided to read Romans 8 instead of 1, since that's where the note had been. And wouldn't you know its exactly what I needed to read.
The whole chapter is about life through the Spirit in comparison to life lived through the flesh and its speaks of our freedom in the Spirit. The Lord called that part of me which was believing those lies I talked about earlier out and reminded me of His truth and even more than that reminded me of Himself. He returned to me the joy of my salvation (psalm 51:12); I was came to know Christ by reading a passage of scripture that also spoke about life in the Spirit and as I read Romans 8, it brought me back to that night just 3 years ago when the Lord spoke these things over me. In the midst of all my sin and rebellion -smoking pot, giving in to ridiculous amounts of jealousy and lust, drinking, and more- He declared over me that His love was enough, that "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set [me] free from the law of sin and death" (romans 8:1-2). He reminded me through romans 8:14-16, that we are not given a spirit of bondage… any bondage we feel, that's just not of Him… but we are rather set free from that and given a spirit of adoption, which declares that we are God's children and a part of His glorious family. Right after I was done reading these things, and my heart had been renewed through the Lord's grace and scripture, I looked up and saw that man from the first night dancing away again.
