I’m slowly learning most moments in life can’t be captured with a camera. Sure, a picture can be taken but those who view it will never share the emotion you experienced.
I could be wrong, but I don’t think God created the world for us to see through a lens. I believe God created the world so we can stand in awe of His beauty — giving Him glory each time our minds are blown by the nature surrounding us.
Before the Race, I desired to capture all the moments of my life I considered beautiful. Weekends visiting my friends, family holiday parties, remarkable sunsets, sunny days on the lake; and while it’s not a bad thing to want a picture to remember the day later, it removes you from the moment.
Throughout the last four months, I’ve built incredible friendships with a handful of my squadmates. I call them my home team. Anytime our squad is reunited, I spend most of my time in deep conversation with them — sharing what God’s been doing in our lives, what we’re struggling with, what we don’t understand and affirming one another’s growth. It’s the World Race’s style of best friends.
One day not too long ago, I was sitting in silence with Micah — one of the first people who joined my home team. We believe it says a lot about the strength of friendships when you can sit without saying more than a few words and walk away feeling as if you just had the best conversation of your life. He’s helped me grow in the beauty of silence, encouraging me to acknowledge every sense of my surroundings.
During one of those conversations with few words, Micah opened my eyes to the realization of how much we remove ourselves from the present when we try to capture the moment we’re living. Sometimes when we run to grab our journal to write about the adrenaline rush we just experienced or our camera to photograph the herd of water buffalos walking by, we miss the moment following.
He challenged me to fight the urge to record everything happening around me and soak in every single second I have in the moment.
With all of this being said, I want you to know I’m incapable of accurately portraying what’s happening in my life through blogs. I yearn to share my experience with all of you, but there are some things I can’t begin to put into words.
I believe this is one of the most difficult truths to accept while being on the Race. There’s no way to illustrate exactly how God is breaking me down and building me back up. Even when I take pictures and post them for my family and friends to see, the beauty of the moment I experienced isn’t portrayed.
In voicing this, I want to share one of the most incredible moments of my life with you all — one in which Micah’s words replayed in my mind, I soaked in my surroundings and chose to not take a picture.
I was standing in the breezeway of our home with Kelsey one afternoon. The hallway amongst us was full of our squadmates playing cards, washing laundry and reading books. The hot of the day was hidden by the clouds, giving us a chance to wipe the sweat from our faces.
As the sun began to set, an unfamiliar breeze filled the air. The clouds became a single pillow covering the sky. A single hole revealed a glimpse of the blue sky, lined by blazing orange sun. I squinted my eyes and focused in on the circle cutout that looked like a pathway to Heaven.
“Kels,” I said calmly. “I think Jesus is coming back.” She smiled the smile she smiles when she agrees. Conversation began and before too long we truly believed the moment we were living could very well be our last here on earth.
More of the clouds caught fire and we rushed up to the rooftop to get a panoramic view of the beauty. We stood with our heads tilted to the sky, slowly turning in circles to see as much of it as we could.
Squadmates around us tried to capture the beauty in photographs. We laid on our backs and watched as darkness put out the fire.
Lightening began to strike. “Ooo’s” and “Ahh’s” filled the air as we stared in wonder. This is it, I thought. Jesus is about to come out of the sky and sit on this rooftop. I couldn’t keep the thoughts to myself so I shared them with everyone standing around. I could tell by their comments some of my squadmates felt uneasy and disagreed, as if Jesus wouldn’t dare come back before we finish the World Race.
I laid there in peace as lightening consumed the sheets of black and purple above us.
For the first moment in my entire life, I felt as if I were ready to go. Not as if I haven’t been in the past, but during many thoughts of Jesus coming back, I’ve secretly hoped I could grow up, get married and have children before He does. But while I laid on the rooftop in Assam, India, none of those things mattered.
As Kelsey and I watched the lightening show our Father put on for us, we shared just how much the moment was impacting our lives. If Jesus were to come back right then, we felt content in what we were doing and how we had been serving Him.
We began to wonder how life would look if we lived every moment of our lives as if Jesus were coming back. Would we be living it the same way? We pondered these questions and talked about how we desired to live each moment from then on in constant glory of God.
Our squadmates began to return back to what they were doing before the sky lit fire and Kels and I found ourselves alone on the rooftop, completely surrounded by the presence of God.
Never in my life had I been so in awe of the ever-changing Creation named Sky — and never in my life had I desired to capture the moment less.
