He let me go.
He let me get in the car and wave goodbye as tears rolled down my face.
He let my parents drive away and never chased me down the street.
He didn’t call to tell me to turn around and come back.
He didn’t even as to much tell me I was wrong in going.
He simply let me go.
On the other side, it must have been hard for him as I pulled away in the back of my parents car.. tears rolling down my cheek. Willing I had stepped into that car knowing well that I would not return to my best friend for 11 months.
I decided to go and he let me.
He let me go and loved me through.
I don’t mean to say he let me go as in I needed his permission or that he left me for good but that he saw the importance of my journey. He wasn’t going to stand in the way of me being obedient to God. He knows fair well that the Lord has bigger plans, bigger plans than any single human could imagine and that he has written them amongst the stars.. so Treyton let me go.
He let me travel to find a love stronger than any earthly love.
He let me go to find the confidence I lacked in myself.
He let me go to dig up all my hurt, shame and guilt and surrender it to freedom.
He let me go to find confirmation of my path with God.
He let me go to find out who my God is.
He let me go to find out who my God says I am.
He let me go because he wasn’t going to stand in front of the Almighty and say no.
Then he loved me through.
He loved me through the distance.
He love me through the “wish you could be here’s”
He loved me through the worst days of feeling not adequate enough.
He loved me through the scary moments.
He loved me through the “I want to come home”.
He loved me through the uncertainty.
He loved me through lack of communication.
He loved me through hurt, pain and tears.
He loved me through joy, freedom and truth.
It wasn’t easy. Every day was a battle. However, we fought and now here we are. The embrace will be the sweetest I have ever had.
So thank you, Treyton.
Thanks for letting me go and loving me through.
Much like Treyton did that for me, the Father does that for us. He lets us go… we are free to make our own choices and do as we please.
He lets us go to far off lands, atop mountains, down valleys, in mansions and on dirty streets.
He let us go stray from his tender hand like a child letting go of their mothers hand as they board the school bus for the first time.
Just like Treyton loved me on this year long journey and a mother loves her child through the years of schooling our Heavenly Father loves us through our mess.
He loves us through destruction of ourselves and others.
He loves us through our bad choices and sin.
He loves us through our accomplishments and pride.
He loves us through our shame and guilt.
He loves us through our moments of happiness, joy and victory.
He loves us still.
To that, I say thank you Abba.
May one day we meet and it be a great embrace.
Many thanks to many supporters and loved ones this past year. Many thanks for letting me go physically, emotionally, mentally and a greater thanks for loving me through it all.
Our Heavenly Father sets the best example of letting go and loving through and I hope someday to get to apply this lesson to someone I love. In the end I want to walk as Jesus walked, I will continue to pick up my cross daily and follow Him… the road isn’t easy but it’s worth it.
Much love and many blessings,
Rachel
