Post Training Camp Update!
I have been absolutely exhausted since I got home catching up on sleep and processing training camp.. So if you want to hear about what the Lord is doing in my life this post will be well worth the read. It’s straight out of my journal (kind of messy) and as honest and raw as it gets.
Life is so much better Christ’s way. The whole journey throughout the last year preparing for my 9 month mission trip has been a huge revelation in my life. God worked miraculously through my fundraising and I was able to see how many willing hearts there are in my community. There are so many generous donors that are kingdom workers and don’t even realize it. Not only that, but I have never felt more loved or supported in my life than I did while I was at training camp. It was the hardest week of my life physically, mentally, and emotionally and because of encouragement and supportive texts from those back home, and the Lord himself, I finished the week! Training camp is over baby!! 2 weeks with no running water, no air conditioning, no bathrooms, bucket showers, a whole bunch of bugs, running 2 miles with a 40 pound pack, 15 ports-potties for 200 people, and living in tents really does change a person. Never been more thrilled to hop on a flight home to take a real shower then I was last night. But Jesus is so good and faithful through the hard nights. The Father completely wrecked my life in an amazing way. I watch the Lord literally heal hurting people through prayer, set souls free of the lies the devil was feeding them, and fill me with so much peace about my next steps. And the kind of peace that passes understanding that we often hear about but never experience..
In all honesty, training camp was hard. It changed me. And it transformed my relationship with the Father. I found myself in an internal battle with God. I kept asking, “God why is my spirit saying no to this?” “How could you call me out of this? If I don’t go it will upset my supporters and what if they hate me? What if it disappoints my loved ones? I’ve always dreamt of this..” I cried for the first four days during camp.. and on the fifth night during worship I sought comfort when God responded, “Rachel, are you willing to give up your dreams and your pride to follow me?” I still didn’t understand.. thinking “but God?? This is a mission trip for your glory!! I’m already funded, I have to do this!” The next night a speaker said “If your Spirit is saying no that means God has something better for you.” In that moment I was strangely filled with peace. It hit me that sometimes following Jesus doesn’t look like leaving for a year to make disciples overseas. Right now, for me, it looks like staying in the States to be discipled and grow the Kingdom at home.
Later in the week in a sermon a different speaker said, “Have a yes in your spirit when you’re asked to do something that makes no sense.” I could not believe that God was continually reassuring me to take a jump into the unknown of not going on the World Race.. Just in case you didn’t know, I had no backup plan! No plan B or C, this was the only thing I had planned in my future. But it’s funny how God works, because now I’m scheduled for an interview at the 7th fastest growing church in America on August 12th for an internship in Tampa, FL! (Prayers it goes well!! And even if it doesn’t work out I know God has something great in store!!) I followed God obediently into the race and I will follow him obediently out of the race. So here I am, literally waking up every day saying okay God. What do you have for me today? My life is in your hands. Whatever your plans are for me I will follow. Even when it makes no sense.
During my time at camp in Georgia I kept running across 2 Corinthians 1: 17-20. It filled me with peace like nothing ever before..
“Was I vacillating when I wanted to do this? Do I make my plans according to the flesh, ready to say “Yes, yes” and “No, no” at the same time? As surely as God is faithful, our word to you has not been Yes and No. For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, whom we proclaimed among you, Silvanus and Timothy and I, was not Yes and Now, but in him it is always Yes. For all the promises of God find their yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory.”
In this passage, Paul is writing to the Corinthians in regards to his change of plans. Paul had been planning to travel to Macedonia before Corinth, but his course changed. There were people in Corinth who opposed Paul, and they had accused him of being indecisive and inconsistent. (SO RELATABLE!!!) Paul’s purpose in writing this is to explain to the church at Corinth that even when his human plans change, that doesn’t mean that God’s plan has changed. He wanted to stress to the believers that God is faithful and true in His will.
The knowledge that God’s plan is unchanging should provide immense relief. We, as humans, have a lot of ideas and plans that don’t always go our way. We can never see the big picture and the only thing that we can control is ourselves, so our plans often don’t work out exactly how we thought. But it should be extremely comforting to know that God’s will is perfect and He is never indecisive.
DON’T BE AFRAID OF MAKING THE WRONG CHOICE!!
At my age life is all about decisions. After graduating high school and becoming an adult you will make decisions that will determine a lot of what the rest of your life will look like. It can be extremely stressful to try to decide on a major, to decide on classes, to decide on summer jobs and internships and the whole nine. There is always the fear of making the wrong choice, or not committing hard enough to one decision. My encouragement to you is that God already knows what the next few years of life will look like for you. Even if your plans don’t go as you think they should, it is all in accordance with God’s will, for His glory.
So no, I’m not going on the race. But yes I am giving up my dream to follow God wherever he leads me next. And in all honestly, that’s all Jesus wants from us- to rely on him with our whole being and to do nothing from selfish conceit!! He is so good and will keep his promise to us no matter how crazy life looks! I am praising the Father for all he has done for me and thanking him for the fire he has awoken inside of me!! (And if you donated and are curious about your donations- all of my money has already been donated to Adventures in Missions and will be used to continue making disciples of all nations through missionaries just like me!! A gift that keeps on giving!!) I love you all so much, thanks for reading and loving me so well!!
