This is my first post to my personal blog and like usual I’m
starting pretty late into the game. Being 29 (30 in December) I appear to be one of the oldest members of my
race team. I started seeking after and loving God at 11 but it took me all the
way until age 27 to realize that relativism is not an acceptable world view and
that Jesus Christ was my personal Lord and Savior. Having joined the world race
in January, here I am writing my first personal blog at the end of March (to my
shame I didn’t immediately realize that post on the group blog don’t post here
too).
When I was in the world I was the anti-Christian, I loved to
pick Christians apart for what I saw as (and unfortunately sometimes really
were) narrow views, intolerance and judgment. I was a straight A student in the school of Idealistic naiveté. I thought I was smarter than almost everyone
and though I didn’t think I knew everything I knew there was no way any bible thumping Christian from a “red” state
knew as much as me.
I love that the Lord knows us and has numbered the hairs on
our heads before we are even born. I will spare you the details but my God knew
that what I needed to get set straight was to be shown that not only did I not
know everything but everything I thought I did know was layered lies from the
pit. When the Lord opened my eyes I can vividly recall standing at the altar of
my church reciting the sinner’s prayer, tears streaming in torrents down my
face thinking “I left you, you never left me, I left you” and it broke my
heart. Just shy of 2 months later He sent me, kicking and screaming, on my
first mission and changed the trajectory of my life forever.
In preparing for the race I have already been pulled so far
out of my comfort zone it’s slightly overwhelming to think about. I have never
had to ask for something I couldn’t do for myself. I have never had to depend
completely on anyone other than my mother (even myself). Trying to graciously
accept help (graceful anything is not my forte) is something I struggle with on
an almost daily basis. It shocks me when people step forward to help me and
humbles me in the face of the awesome God who has provided for my needs before
I even realize I should ask. In the zeal of new salvation I asked God to break
me and mold me into who he wants me to be. I asked this A LOT. I feel like I on
a rollercoaster hearing the tick tick tick as the coaster ascends into place
for the first drop. I’m excited, scared and amazed that he would call this
unlikely pilgrim to take the ride.
