I have 5 days to raise $3,500 for my Dec 15th final support goal, good news is if it happens I am fully funded and I can’t stop talking about money. Bad news is if I don’t get it I am getting sent home. There are 9 other people on my squad with a similar need, I will keep the Support Blog updated with our progress as the deadline approaches. Please consider donating so we can keep being the hands and feet of God.
Warning: I know this sounds crazy but its not and these things do happen!
Walking past the trinkets and paintings of the night market into the red light district it felt like the night was growing darker. I saw the beautifully painted faces, smiling with sad eyes, lost eyes, dead eyes, peering out of the bars. As we walked thoughts that didn’t belong to me tried to set their roots in my mind, thoughts like “this isn’t so bad”, ” Oh, I want him too look at me”, ” most girls probably want to be here” , I could have easily mistaken them for my own thoughts except for the suddenness with which they replaced thoughts of anger, pity, protectiveness and concern. A wall of spirits covered each bar, like graffiti on a fence or an underpass, swirling disjointed color fighting for space.
We split up in groups and went into various bars talking to the women who worked there. Each step an alternating battle between heaviness and apathy. In each place, eyes betrayed smiles, and the listless searching stare permeated the small talk. With each bar there was an increasing sense of urgency, a deeper pang of hunger. At one bar the girls played games with us, connect 4, then dominos. They laughed with us and shared with us, they hugged us and something in one of the girls eyes reminded me of the children at the orphanage, when they are waiting to see if you will leave them. The customers began to come in but the girls stayed with us and played, until a manager came and scolded them and they were sent to entertain the paying male customers.
We went to the end of the street then back the way we came, we found a bar with no customers and lots of girls, one whom, I would bet the last of my personal money, is not older than 16. One of the girls looked dazed and struggled to keep her balance as she danced just outside the entrance of the bar. I danced back at her and she jumped excitedly and threw her arms around my neck, we both laughed. The other girls enthusiastically invited us to sit with them at the bar, “we have to meet friends I said” which was true, as we only had ten minutes before our designated rendezvous with the other group. The other girls in my team took a seat so I followed suit. The girls here seemed older (except the really young one), they spoke English well and it almost seemed as though they were leaning in to speak to us, drawing closer. My dance partner took a seat behind me and wrapped her arms around me which made me very nervous but I tried not to show it. I wondered what she thought my intentions were, if she just wanted affection or she thought I was a potential client. I carried on in conversation with the girls in front of me.
Ten minutes flew and we said our goodbyes promising to return and made our way to the meeting point. We walked home, talked about our new friends and some of the things we had seen, we prayed about the evening and worshipped, then went inside and to bed. ..
I woke up, I can’t be sure of the time, I couldn’t remember my dream. I wondered why I had woken up and was about to remove my eye mask when I got a feeling of dread, not to look, like when we were children and the monster couldn’t get us if we hid under the blanket. I felt sure I had to look now, and that the enemy would not win. The room felt heavy as I placed my hand on my eye mask to pull it up I heard, audibly heard, a female voice speaking fervently in a language I did not know, it was maleficent. I pulled my mask and searched the dark, I saw no one. I felt the feeling of desperation and saw the girls at the last bar we had visited, in my mind. I spoke the name of Jesus, then sang it, until the feeling dissipated and was gone. Upon waking I felt hopeful. I knew where I needed to go and I knew we were a threat to the oppressive spirits that reside there. In my head I kept hearing Sheryl Crow’s “I know why” in my head.
…I know why the heart gets lonely
Every time you give your love away
And if you think that you are only
A shadow in the wind
Rolling round but when you go and let somebody in
They might fade away…
I know why the heart gets lonely
Every time YOU GIVE YOUR LOVE away
And if you think that you are only
A shadow in the wind
You better think again…
