I hate money! I hate thinking about it, talking about it, needing it and very most of all asking for it. The world race has stretched me and grown me in so many ways but there is still the issue of money. One day on the train to Bangor in Northen Ireland I sat by this sweet older woman who was kind enough to ask me about my accent, I told her about my adventures and how much I loved her country. She told me about her life and how she use to be a Sunday school teacher. At the end of the ride she reached into her purse and pulled out a pound note, I don’t have any idea what denomination it was but I am sure it was at least 5 pounds since that’s the smallest note there is. I immediately felt a pang of guilt, what had I said to this woman to make her think I was asking for money. Another time I was talking to some amazing girls about the horrible state of my shoes which have holes that show my socks. One of the girls reached into her purse to give me money for new shoes, again the immediate pang of guilt. In both of these instances I thanked them profusely but asked them to keep their money and assured them I would be alright. I just felt like I couldn’t take their money for my personal use, I gave them my blog flyer and asked them to follow my blog and if they still wanted to donate to please do it there.
Just recently I was reminded that another funding deadline is coming up and I still haven’t even met the previous goal. I wrote up email and face book messages and sent out my rap video to everyone I could think of and now I am waiting. I remember hating sending out the initial support letters and desperately wanting to fund the trip myself. I remember people offering support and me feeling guilty to take it. Being out in the field and seeing what God is doing in the communities we touch, in the people I meet, in my teammates and in me I no longer feel shy about asking for mission support. It worries me that people will think I am just after their money or I don’t even know what else I am afraid they will think but I realize that it is a fear of man and that the work being done here is too important for me to let my personal fears interfere with them. At this point I need a little under $8000 to be full funded for my mission. That is a lot of money and it would scare me except that I know the Lord is going to provide it, maybe He will do it through you or someone else, but I am having faith the by the September 15th deadline I will receive another $5000. I declare the Lords provision over my life and I believe that He has already worked this whole thing out on my behalf, I just have no idea how yet. 🙂
