Pastor told us that we were going to visit a church member and I was excited.
Woohoo! Happy Friday! Let’s go encourage our brothers and sisters in the Lord.
So off we go. The ten of us (the team plus the squad leaders) piled up in two cars and after about ten minutes, we arrive.
We were welcomed by a few older women who were simply precious and they have laid out cookies and coffee and milk for us. Stop it right now, you’re too sweet!
Then, I see him.
He gripped my heart.
He was so frail and so weak.
He was laid on the wooden platform and his head was propped up by a few pillows and he was clearly in pain.
The family explained that he had been sick for a month and over the past few days, he has not been able to eat anything.
We asked if we could pray.
And pray we did.
Hands were laid. Tears were shed. Our petitions were sent up to the Lord.
I believed in his healing so hard that I could feel my belief surge through my body, but as I opened my eyes, nothing happened.
I mean nothing.
He was still sick. He was still miserable. He was still in so much pain.
We tried to give him water and after a few sips, he ended up crying from the pain in his stomach and his hip, which he had fell on earlier.
I couldn’t deal.
My heart was gripped and it was being shredded to pieces.
Compassion was surging through my body, but so was anger.
Why did you bring us here if you weren’t going to heal him? How are you not moved by compassion?
Lord, I know that you have even more compassion than I do and I’m super moved, so how are you not more moved. What the heck, Lord?
I was so heartbroken and upset at the same time.
Lord, why did you bring us here to experience this pain without seeing your healing power?
Some of the other women were able to pray and minister to the women who were there and I think that they were greatly encouraged and blessed, but I was so wrapped up in my emotions and my heart was so heavy for that man, that sweet Thai grandpa, that I couldn’t join in what was God was doing around me.
I talked out my thoughts and feelings with a few teammates and that was really helpful because I was reminded that God is going to do whatever brings Him the most glory and that even though that man was not healed according to my expectations, God was still glorified as we prayed over that home and that family.
But when I got home, my heart was not settled and so I went searching and came across this article: http://theresurgence.com/2013/05/09/why-doesn-t-god-always-heal-the-sick that talks about when God doesn’t heal the sick and it was so helpful.
By the end of the night, my heart was not as heavy and I began to trust in God’s plan and began to believe that He knew what He was doing with the Thai man who I adopted in my heart in simply an hour as my Thai poppop.
Little did I know…
