So this past week was my spring break or winter break, whatever you want to call it and I had a FANTASTIC week.
No. I did not go anywhere. I did not even do anything. If there was an excitement meter from 0 to 100 where 100 was the most exciting, I would barely qualify for a 15, but man, I had a great week.
I took Spring Break as an opportunity to start building good habits. I did sprints every morning and evening, I read consistently for my Bible reading plan, I read a chapter every night of Joyce Meyer's book and wrote down little ways that I could improve from the day before. And man, I had such a great time catching up with people. It was SOOO great. I talked to so many people and it was so wonderful to hear about other people's lives. It was nice to have the time to just talk on the phone and believe me, I did a lot of talking on the phone. (Sorry to all those who talked to me this week because I was pretty talkative lol).
Anyways, I got new contacts, made veggie tacos, made a hybrid carrot dessert that was like pie meets apple crisp, I took pictures, I prayed, I worshipped, I took a walk, I went to a history museum, I went to the movies, and more, but most of all I lived. I was excited everyday to wake up. There was no resetting of the alarm and dragging myself out of the bed and hyping myself up to go be a force of good in a world of evil.
No. I was joyful, I was full of life, I was excited to be alive for many reasons.
Then yesterday, it all started to crash down. Break was ending. My hour of sleep was about to be stripped from me (thank you DST) and my free time to roam and explore and spend 45 minutes trying to figure out what foundation I wanted to buy was coming to an end (thank you grad school). I had work to do. So I went to the library after outreach and did my work and guess what, when I finished I was even more joyful. I was so grateful that God allowed me to finish it in a timely manner and I loved the library and, I was just so happy.
You can't stop this joy!
Then, I did a few other things and then I got home around 7 and I put on some soup and completely reorganized my room. Brought pretty much everything out and moved my bed and such and I tried to get everything done by 8:30 so that I could talk to my best friend at 8:30 as planned. But I wasn't finished in time, so I wanted to skype so that I could work while we talked. I didn't want to stop and have the conversation because my mind was on getting my room done (self-centered anyone?)
So I will condense our hour plus conversation into a few words–I'm still a mess. Ladies and gentlemen, I have had joy like a river for weeks now and freedom that I can't begin to express, but in that I have been oblivious to the fact that there is still sin surging through my being. I think that because I was so joyful all the time, I didn't realize that I was being self-centered, self-seeking, and neglectful. I was having a happy party hardcore and didn't realize that I have not been a good friend to one of the people that I love most. And the kicker is, this isn't the first time (shocker!). So I was just like dangggggg mannn, let me get it together (again).
Why is it that I serve associates and strangers so well, but am so easily frustrated and unforgiving with those closest to me?
One thing, for sure, is that my best friend gets married in 5 months (cray!) and I'm barely and rarely invested in the process and oftentimes when we talk, I am more interested in hearing myself talk more than anything. And sometimes, I can be very rude and sharp; instead of using my words to build her up, I speak foolishly and harmfully. SMH. A mess! So where to go from here right?
Well, I want you to join me as I focus specifically on prophesying to my friends and family. To be clear, I don't mean go around making up false stuff about their future like "God is going give you all green lights on the way to work today!" I mean what Paul meant in the Bible as far as uplifting and encouraging people; speaking words of life and truth into others. I am going to be extra careful about what comes out of my mouth and what goes through my head this week. I want to be a source of joy and encouragement for my friends and family, not one of frustration and hurt. I challenge you to do the same. Ok bye.
