I am sitting in my kitchen after a wonderful day and I stink badly and need to shower, but I need to blog because there are so many things going through my head and so much joy and love in my heart that I need to transfer them to you.
Usually Mondays are my Sabbath days, where I spend time alone with God, where I go away from the noise and the craze and it's just me and Jesus in some park somewhere, but this week was Labor Day, so I had to take a rain check. So today was that wonderful day and I headed down south to the beach area and stumbled upon a beauty: Prime Hook National Wildlife Refuge.
There was a two lane road that was surrounded by water on both sides and I just pulled over to the side of the road and soaked it in. The beautiful birds, the water splashed rocks, the amazing breeze, the slow-moving water, and the beautiful sunshine. I was in wildlife heaven (minus the flies that eventually convinced me to leave) and I was in love. I was mesmerized by God as I am every week when I press pause on "life" and come back to how life was supposed to be, walking with God in the cool of the evening, being in sweet communion with my Father. It is so good for my soul. I was reeling from the amazingness on Sunday and it warrants a recap.
Sunday. Unlike the first time, God gave me words and I prepared a short speech where I tried to express my gratefulness and challenge my church family to live a mission-centered life. I had a horrible attitude that whole morning though and I felt emotionally and physically heavy (partially because of the 4 hours of sleep that I had), but when I walked through the doors of my church, PowerHouse Ministries, the weight was lifted and I remembered why I love my church home so much-God lives there.
When it was time, I took the mic and spoke what I prepared and as my eyes glanced over the crowd that I call family, I said that this was the last time that they would see me until I returned from the Race and as I said it, it was like a huge hit to my heart. "This is it." I couldn't break down right then and there because I had to finish out my words, but Lord knows, I was a goner at that point. These beautiful people, these wonderful lives, these friends and family had been so instrumental in getting me to Launch, but they could not go with me. I would be going it alone.
The pastors (my parents) and some of the elders prayed over me and I just wept. Overjoyed to be chosen to go and grieving everything and everyone that I was leaving behind. And then I walked off the stage and out the back stage door into the hallway and took off my bags and one of my brothers in Christ says to me, "I saw the image and likeness of Christ through you when you were talking." Can someone go find my jaw because I dropped it!?! You don't just say stuff like that to people without giving them time to take a seat. I was blown away. For God to use him to say something that powerful caused my eyes to be open even more to the fact that truly the Holy Spirit that raised Christ from the dead is living and active in me and He is doing and will continue to do amazing things through my life.
I just need to be obedient.
Floored, I gave him a hug and picked up my backpack and I heard God softly say, "Pick up your cross and follow me," and I lost it. I mean I took a few steps and found myself sobbing in the corner with my bags and after a minute, I hear my sister come down the hallway crying as well. And we held each other and sobbed as the reality hit us both-This is it. This is real life.
I need about $5,500 before I'm fully funded, so feel free to give and of course, keep me and my team: The Chainless in prayer!
Be sure to read to part 2 because God was really showing off on Sunday!
