For almost four years I was a Young Life Leader in the wonderful state of Delaware and if you have spent a decent amount of time in Young Life or gone to Young Life camp, you will inevitably sing Don't Stop Believin' by Journey. And sometime between "Streetlights" and "people," you throw your head back and you lose your mind and eventually lose your voice and it is just a rush. "And it goes on and on and on and on!!!"
Crossfade back into real life.
There aren't 600 people screaming at the top of their lungs. There isn't a wild and crazy music team on stage pumping me up. It's me. And God. It's a lot of silence and fear trying to attack my thoughts and my emotions. It's battling to believe that the God who said, "Be still and know that I am God" and "I am with you always" is not a man that He should lie and that even though I cannot see through the fog of fear, I choose to believe. Or at least I tried.
At the end of the day, I realized that no matter how I hard I tried, I still didn't believe that I was going to hit my first deadline of $3500. I didn't see it. I didn't believe it. So I chose to ignore it and repress it, figuring that if I didn't focus on it, I wouldn't be as disappointed when He didn't come through.
BUT GOD.
I was in Chicago from last Thursday to Monday because my mom's uncle had died and I had had a wonderful time with my family even though it was a sad event that brought us together. I had eaten till my stomach could expand no more, I walked through downtown Chicago and walked down the Navy Pier in absolute perfect weather, and had quality time with my parents. I was experiencing life without stress and without responsibility and it was beautiful peace.
Crossfade back into real life.
There's not 40 people in a house eating, drinking and laughing. My parents are gone and I'm not walking down the beautiful Navy Pier. It's me. And God. It's a lot of emptiness and trying to fight the sadness of being back in Michigan, alone, with all the work that I had left before and 800 more to raise in 2 weeks. I didn't want to deal. I just wanted to ignore it.
BUT GOD.
On Monday night, someone walked up to me and she had my little paper flier in hand and said that she and her husband had decided to support me. And I'm thinking in my head "cool," but I was thinking they were going to give like $50 or something (which I still would have been extremely grateful for, don't get me wrong folks every dollar counts). But she flips over the paper and she says "this is what we were thinking" and it says the number $1200. My brain froze. This doesn't make sense. I wasn't expecting this. I am simultaneously filled in awe and wonder at God and absolutely gratitude and humility and I am frozen. I hear myself saying thank you over and over again and give her a hug and when she walks away I crumple to my knees and cry.
Not only did God provide enough money to meet my first deadline, he surpassed it and he did so weeks in advance so that I don't have to stress out about it during my last two weeks in Michigan. I serve a magnificent, kind, loving, gracious, generous, all-powerful, faithful, wondrous, unprecedented God who enjoys lavishing blessings and surprises on His children.
Because of my background, I wanted to shout so bad, but I didn't want to scare my housemates, so I went on a run and just praised God and cried as I ran because I know that this is just the beginning. The blessings of the Lord and the testimonies of the saints of God never stop. They go on and on and on and on!!!
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I still have to raise about $11,500 to cover the cost for this trip, so if God lays it on your heart to help send me out by supporting me financially, click "Support Me" on the left to make a tax-deductible donation online. Or, cut out the 3% online processing fee by writing a check to "Adventures in Missions" with "BULLRACHELLE" in the info line and mailing it to:
Adventures in Missions
PO Box 534470
Atlanta, GA 30353-4470
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If you want to buy any of my gear such as my backpack or tent, please contact me at facebook.com/rachelle.bullwr
