This year has been a year full of ‘extremes’. In Swaziland, I saw what it looks like when HIV/AIDS dominates a nation. In India, I looked into the face of poverty and stared straight into the eyes of children who had been abandoned and left for dead. In Nepal, I entered villages that had no little girls because they had all been trafficked by their parents into the sex industry. In Thailand, I walked through the red light district and saw the end result of when people fully surrender to the lust of their flesh. Today, here in Cambodia, I came face to face with genocide. In America, it is easy to hear about AIDS in Africa or human trafficking or genocides in other nations and feel sad and sorry about those things. But there are so many other things going on in our everyday ‘real life’ that we quickly turn our eyes and ears back to happier, more comfortable things. All of those things are really ‘extreme’ and it can’t really be as bad as the media makes it out to be, right? All of those ‘extreme’ stories are all for ratings, right? This year, I have come face to face with those millions and billions of people who live every day in the extremely difficult places and circumstances that cause us in America to become really uncomfortable.
As I walked through the Killing Fields outside of Phnom Penh, Cambodia, I was overwhelmed by what I was seeing, hearing, and feeling. I saw and heard horrific things about how over 3 million Cambodians were killed by the Khmer Rouge between 1975 and 1979. As I walked along the path, I was watching how other people were reacting to the horrors of the genocide that they were hearing about in their headphones. I stood next to a European man and heard the cry of his heart… ‘God, where were you? Why do You let things like this happen? Why weren’t You here?’
So, I asked the Lord… ‘show me where You were and what You were doing in this place during the genocide?’
The first place I went was the monument built to honor those who had died there. I stepped into a building that housed over 5,000 human skulls that had been found in some of the mass graves on the property. As I looked at row upon row upon row of skulls, I heard His whisper… ‘I know every one of their names. I know every one of their stories’
As I stood at the place where the ‘prisoners’ were kept until it was their time to die… I heard Psalm 102:19-20: For He looked down from the height of His sanctuary; from heaven the Lord viewed the earth, to hear the groan of the prisoner, to release those appointed to death
As I stood near the mass graves, hearing about some of the horrors that went on in that place, I heard Him say ‘I was here, in the grave, with each one as they lay dying. I saw everything. I never looked away. I was here, next to the soldiers, as they committed every murder. I love each one and was pursuing their heart and attention. I never looked away. I saw everything. But I did not look at the soldiers with distain or hatred. I love them and longed to be reconciled to them.
As I stood near the grave of women and children, next to the place where children were held by their feet and beat against a tree, I hear His voice: I was here, near every woman, every child, every soldier. I was not far away. My eyes were fixed on each person here. I never, ever looked away.
As I sat on a bench, undone by the love and nearness of Jesus, I heard Him say I paid for this.
So, where is God during genocides? He is not far away. He has not looked away. He has not stepped back. He has pressed even closer to the ones He loves. He is right in the midst of pain, of heartbreak, of death. He is Emmanuel – the God who is with us. He is El Roi – the God who sees.
