I knew God was good and I knew what He had for me was fullness of life, and getting there was by stepping into vulnerability and transparency, but I didn’t realize the full purpose that He had for me by this until a few nights ago…
Does God Heal?
Oh Lord my God, I cried unto Thee, and Thou hast healed me.
Psalm 30:2
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases.
Psalm 103:2-3
… and by His stripes we are healed.
Isaiah 53:5
Does God Use Us to Heal?
And when He had called unto him His twelve disciples, He gave them power against unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all manner of sickness and all manner of disease.
Matthew 10:1
I the Lord have called thee in righteousness, and will hold thine hand, and will keep thee, and give thee for a covenant of the people, for a light of the Gentiles; to open the blind eyes…
Isaiah 42:6-7
There came also a MULTITUDE out of the cities round about unto Jerusalem, bringing sick folks, and them which were vexed with unclean spirits: and they were HEALED every one.
Acts 5:16
Last month, in El Salvador, I felt prompted to seek and ask God for something. Not out of greed, but out of boldness and faith. I had been scared to ask God for things, because I felt so unworthy. But through His transforming love, He kept showing me how much He actually desires to bless us. I searched my heart and what kept coming up was- power. I desired to see God’s power displayed. I wanted to see His glory through His power. I wanted to see miracles!
I felt God so close to me last month. This month has been harder. Until a few days ago I felt like I was taking backwards steps with our relationship. But God gently reminded me that He wants me to pursue Him just as passionately as He pursues me.
Finally, I felt God close again! I LOVE spending time with Him. I love ya’ll but if I could just hang out with Him one on one, all the time, I would. I could hear Him speaking into my heart again. Truths about who He is and who He has called me to be. My cup was full again.
I love the way God works. He is the greatest maestro, artist, architect, engineer, physician, insert expert of choice here, etc. The way he orchestrates things is so far beyond our comprehension. Sometimes He allows us to have glimpses of His purposes. This is what He did for me a few nights ago.
My squad and I were having a session. We were singing worship songs- one of my favorite things to do. God told me to put my hands on a teammate’s leg and start praying for her.
This was VERY far outside of my comfort zone.
God has been calling me to do SO many things outside of my comfort zone lately. And at first, I just ignored them. But then, the Holy Spirit convicted me that God had just done all this work in my life and heart last month to be sensitive to the Spirit’s voice in my life and here I was ignoring it.
So, slowly, I have stepped out into the uncomfortable things that He has asked me to do. Things that don’t even make sense. I wrestle with God about it.
Like, really God?
Like how is that something that even matters?
Who cares if I say hi to that person?
What difference is it going to make if I start a broken Spanglish conversation with a shoe shiner about the weather?
Why would I buy flowers? Who would I give them to? What would they think?
“For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believeth…” Romans 1:16
The gospel is not always sitting down with someone and lining out the salvation message and praying the prayer of faith right then and there. A lot of times, it is living it. Every day. In every situation. Listening to what God tells you to do, no matter how ridiculous it may seem.
Noah heard God tell him to build an ark for a giant rain storm when he didn’t even know what rain was. The Israelites walked around a city, singing, seven times- without drawing a single weapon- because God told them that is how they would defeat their enemy.
Jesus told the disciples to cast their net on the other side of the boat to catch fish, like how frustrating would that be? You’ve been out fishing on a boat all day, catch NOTHING, and then Jesus comes by and says hey, try the other side. Like, they hadn’t already thought of that? Like that would have changed anything? I’m sure they had those thoughts and wrestled with them, but they took His word by faith, and acted. They did what He said to do, no matter how insignificant or pointless they may have thought it was. And guess what? God blessed them for it.
My teammate had injured her leg doing something she loved and was in noticeable pain. In nursing school I was trained to fix pain. Working as a nurse in the ICU, I was conditioned to detach pain from emotional response. This is something that the Lord has been graciously and patiently working with me on.
But as I looked at her in her pain, my heart began to break. A long time ago, God gave me a gift. He allowed me to feel the pain that He feels about things that break His heart. Over the years I buried that gift so deep I never imagined I would ever be able to find it again. As I get closer to God, He is unlocking doors that I didn’t even know could open again, let alone even knew still existed. What’s more, is I’m asking Him to do so. Even if I don’t believe it possible, I’m still asking, because I know God is a God of the impossible.
My heart broke as I reflected back on my stubbornness, pride, and indifference. How could I not do such a simple thing, in love, and reach out and touch and pray for her leg?
As I placed my hands gently on her leg, that was twitching uncontrollably, one on her knee and the other on her ankle, I started to pray.
I just began simply with naming all the names of the Father- Abba, Great Physician, Healer, All in All, I AM. The more I prayed, the more I couldn’t stop the tears. I felt the pain. I felt God’s heart break for her. I didn’t want to stop praying. I didn’t want to leave God’s presence. I wanted to stay there in that moment and pray all night with her and for her. Because it was such a sweet, sweet presence, yes it was painful, but it was good.
I prayed for divine healing- a bold prayer that I had never dared pray before. But it wasn’t an ultimatum prayer, like I have seen so many times before. It was just a gentle, petition to the Father. Sitting in that pain, and giving it to God. And thanking Him for His goodness regardless of the outcome. This was not a prayer I would have chosen, or thought to pray when praying for healing. However, God showed me how to pray for healing.
Her leg was not miraculously healed that night, or even the next day. I struggled. Why God? I don’t understand? I wasn’t mad at Him though, just curious as to the purpose. Because I know that God showed me how to pray a prayer of healing, I can’t explain it in words, but I just know.
And yet, she was not healed.
He gave me a small glimpse of the bigger picture He was painting.
The key to unlocking a prayer of healing, is to allow the brokenness and the hurt of that sickness or injury permeate you. You must feel God’s pain and be broken by it.
By His stripes we are healed.
In order for me to see God’s power, such as through healing- like I had asked for, I needed to be able to be emotionally broken again. Something I thought had been stripped away by all the pain and suffering I had witnessed- I had become indifferent to pain- until I gave God my heart and asked Him to change it, and make it like His. A work God had begun last month. But I also needed to be able to say yes to God, no matter how crazy or insignificant the thing He asked me to do. Which is what He has been working in my heart this month.
So, not only must I be able and willing to be broken for that person and feel God’s pain, I must also have the faith to step out in boldness and pray the prayer or do the thing God asks.
So.. I challenge you… Be willing to be broken! Be willing to do the crazy thing! Because God wants to do miracles and He wants to use YOU to do them!
Did I see healing? Physically, in that moment? No.
Do I believe now that God doesn’t heal? Absolutely not!
Do I think that God isn’t faithful? Heck no.
Do I think that God isn’t good? Not in your wildest dreams!
God does heal! He is ALWAYS faithful! And He isn’t only a good Father, He is the BEST Father! I know that God showed me how to pray for healing, and He did so in such a cool way. It was a teaching opportunity and a faith exercise.
He may not have healed my friend physically in that moment, but He has been healing my heart through this entire process. And I can’t WAIT to see what He has in store for the rest of this journey.
