[Posting on Day 76 while in India..oops]
Here’s a blog I wrote in Lesotho but never got around to editing!
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Day 56 – 11/02/17
We just finished our final day of village ministry. It was beautiful and productive, and I even shared scripture with the lady we served this morning. But today is also bittersweet.
Our time in Malealea Valley, Lesotho is coming to a rapid close, just as I feel something rising in me that I’ve shut down for years.
There’s a love inside of me that I’ve protected. Love like I had for the kids I met in the Mayan Zone, Mexico, on my first international mission trip when I was 12. Love so compelling, I went a second time when I was 13. Love so powerful, returning home was more painful than anything I’d experienced. Since Mexico, I believe I’ve blocked my heart from that kind of love. That aching, Paul leaving his churches, ugly cry when you say goodbye, kind of love.
I just spent some time with a little boy named Moseli (pronounced Moe-say-dee) who I learned was asking for me all day.
Let me tell you about this boy.
I met him after church our first Sunday on my way back to the church from the bathroom. He took my hand and walked with me. We bonded over my mom’s essential oils, my ukulele, and the song The Lion Sleeps Tonight (Wimoweh) by the Tokens. He wrote his name on my arm, and in turn I was prompted to write mine on his. Immediately pals.
The day after, he tore up half his face really bad while biking. So bad, I totally didn’t even recognize him. He was sitting outside the church with tears streaming down his face (which made it harder to recognize him as well, considering I had never seen him look upset). Of course, I ran inside and grabbed an antibacterial wipe and antibacterial ointment from my six dollar Walmart first-aid travel-kit (thanks Walmart). I cleaned his face, trying not to wince at the gash between his lips and trying to keep my hand steady. Makennah gave him a tube of antibacterial ointment, and the whole day we couldn’t shake him out of our minds.
Later that week, I saw him again. I still didn’t know him as Moseli, but I was glad to see him. I tried to use my hands to explain that his face was looking much better. Randomly, he grabbed my hand and hummed the tune, “in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight..”
That was all it took for me to recognize him. I excitedly continued the song and rambled, “Oh yes! I know you! Wow, I didn’t recognize you!” He doesn’t speak English, but I could tell he understood my epiphany by the smile he forced down due to the cut between his lips. He pointed at me and parted his lips just enough to whisper, “Raychah.”
So I pointed at the almost faded name on my arm and attempted to pronounced it until he gave me the thumbs up.
Throughout the month, his face has healed beautifully, and every time I saw him, he could open his mouth just a little bit more and sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight just a little bit louder. One day when everyone went to the lodge for wifi, I was feeling sick so I stayed back. But unfortunately, I had to wash my clothes. I grabbed some buckets and soap and Moseli and a little crowd surrounded me. Within moments of seeing how I washed my clothes (which is very very wrong apparently), about 15 kids took over. I sat back and watched them somehow find joy in cleaning my socks till they were, “shiny!” as Moseli would say.
Our time together this month was filled with laughs and shared snacks, but I feel this block inside me.
I can tell I didn’t give him all my heart and love that the Lord has given me to share.
But Moseli gave me his.
With a heavy heart, I’ve learned my lesson. We leave Lesotho in two days, and it wasn’t until my little friend (whose face healed up beautifully) quickly hugged me and jogged off that I realized how much I simply love that boy. How much I wish I could spend more time with him. How much I hope I see him again before we leave. How much I wish I would’ve gotten out of my hammock last week when I woke up from a nap to him peaking his face inside my eno. How much I hold back in fear of being hurt or rejected. How much he doesn’t just deserve half my love, but all the love I can give, because that’s how Jesus has loved us, and Jesus has more than enough love to fill me up when I pour myself out.
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As I edit this blog in India, I’m excited to update you on Moseli. After I wrote this blog in Lesotho, I actually found him sitting outside my door. Turns out, when he had jogged off, he was planning on returning. God gave me the chance to write this and realize these things, and then he gave me the chance to spend more time with him and to love him with what I had learned! I never got to say goodbye (I wasn’t sure if he was going to say bye on our last morning) but our final interactions were so special and I’ll treasure them forever.
Thank you all for your continued prayers and support. I only have about $1,800 more till I’m FULLY funded! Please donate if you are able, any amount helps, and please keep my squad in your prayers as we adjust to our ministry and life here in India. I love you all very much! Keep the faith.
