This month in Kigali my team has had so many cool opportunities. One of those opportunities has been preaching at our host mom’s church. I preached yesterday and it was a really cool time of sharing what the Lord has been teaching me lately and how He is moving. So I wanted also share that with all of you. Enjoy!
The Lord has been teaching me a lot about shame lately. Specifically, shame of trials and tribulations.
For the past 3 or 4 years, I have been through more “internal trials with the Lord” than I can count. And with each one, I have felt like I am struggling through life and not living the full life that Christ has for me. That feeling makes me not want to be honest with how I am really doing because I worry that people are tired of hearing about my “constant” struggles. And I also worry that they will look down on me for struggling or will not understand why I am struggling.
So for most of the past couple years, I’ve only been truly honest about how I’m doing with those closest to me, those with whom I feel safe with. And even then, I still worry about what they are thinking when I bring yet another struggle to them.
But all of these thoughts and worries are so contrary to the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Romans 5:1-5 says, “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”
In this chapter of Romans, Paul is telling us what the benefits of believing in Christ are. Because of our justification through faith and the grace that we now receive, we should boast in the glory of God.
Not only that, but Paul is telling us that there is glory in the trials and tribulations because they produce perseverance, character, and ultimately hope. And there is no shame in that hope because of God’s love that He give us through the Holy Spirit. There is no shame because this is all a part of God’s plan, this is how things are supposed to go.
All of these tribulations are actually maturing me in my faith and shaping me to look more like Christ. This is one of my biggest prayers to God that I have had most of my life, and it is one of the main reasons I came on this race, to get to know Jesus more and to look more like Him.
So knowing all of this, I can conclude that the shame I am feeling about all my trials is not coming from God, it is coming from the devil. The devil is to blame for my shame. But the devil has no authority to speak over my life.
As I have realized that the shame is not from God, I have asked Him for the courage to speak out about my trials to others. And you know what? The Lord was so gracious to give me a safe space and an amazing community to do that in. This month with my all girls team, Soul Sisters, has been so, so sweet. And the Lord has used my time with them to redeem and to restore many things within me. What a gift!
On top of that, God has used the trials I’ve spoken out about to encourage the others around me to not be ashamed of their trials. Looking back at the passage in Romans 5, Paul says there is glory in our trials and tribulations. I believe part of that glory is because of how God uses the trials to mature our faith and bring us closer to him. It also brings glory to Him because of how it brings others to Him for courage instead of sitting in their shame.
God is so cool. He is always faithful to answer our prayers, even if not in the way we want it to be answered. He does not let us stay stagnant in our faith and He continues to bring us closer to him and to mature us. I’m so thankful that He does not give up on us and that he helped me understand this so that I can lean into him for courage and keep the devil from having any foothold in my life with shame.
UPDATE:
We leave for Uganda on Monday! I cannot believe this month is already over. It went SO fast and has been such an amazing and sweet month. Be on the look out for my next blog wrapping up our time in Rwanda.
We will spend a week in Jinja, Uganda debriefing with the whole squad, along with our coaches and squad mentor who are flying in from the States.
Prayer Requests:
- Please pray for safe travels to Uganda.
- During debrief, we will be getting new squad leaders from within our own squad and we will be changing teams. Please pray for smooth transitions and open hearts to all of the new things.
- New squad leaders means that our alumni squad leaders will be headed home at the end of December 🙁 Please pray for them as they are preparing to transition off the field and return home.
- We still have a few people on our squad who are not fully funded. The deadline to be fully funded was yesterday so please pray for the funds to come in ASAP so that they can stay on the field with us. If you are interested in donating to them, their blog links are below and you can donate there.
Frieda Renee https://friedarenee.theworldrace.org/
Shelby Ross https://shelbyross.theworldrace.org/
Alicia Franzen https://aliciafranzen.theworldrace.org/
Aryne Gardea https://arynegardea.theworldrace.org/
This is a picture of me preaching.
These are my sweet sisters that have been my team this month.
