This is the beginning of a 4 part blog series about the way that Father God has so powerfully and intimately moved in my life the last few months. Hang on because it’s an exciting ride.
Questions
It started in Kenya. Really it started as our time in Kenya was coming to a close. All the questions. All the uncertainty. I was slowly coming out of grieving, yet again, all the relationships from the past month and having to leave those behind. I was coming out of frustration for having to do it over and over again, but sitting in that pain with my Father and letting him speak into it.
Then they came. The questions. But not little questions. Big ones. Ones like why did God create us in the first place? What is our purpose here? Why does God have to be in control? What is the point of prayer? Does it actually change anything? And on and on. The more I dug into them, the more questions came up.
I tend to over analyze things and when I do that, I can send myself into a downward spiral that is never ending. When this happens, Papa has to tell me to stop. Stop everything. And just let Him. Let Him speak. Let Him move. Let him be I Am. Just let Him.
After digging into these questions for a few weeks, that’s what happened. I started over analyzing and He told me to stop and let Him. So I did. And the journey he has taken me on since then has been…well there are no words. Hold on, it’s powerful.
Subtle Answers
Back in October in Ecuador, I had a deep desire to have more biblical knowledge. I really wanted that to infiltrate my life and to guide me more than it ever had in the past. So I made a goal to read the whole bible by the end of the race. I’ve never read the whole bible but I really wanted to know what was in it and how it could help guide and change my life.
Ever since I started that, it’s been amazing to watch the way what I am reading changes me. I was reading through Psalms last month, and towards the end of the book, God showed me that it had started changing the way I prayed. He was slowly and subtly speaking to my questions about prayer.
I was reading through Romans at that same time I was reading through Psalms. While reading Romans, God showed me that Paul was walking me through the Gospel from the very beginning. God was slowly and subtly speaking to my questions about him.
And as God was using these things to slowly and subtly speak to me, he showed me that he was bringing me to a point of defining my entire faith based only on my relationship with him and with Jesus. No more letting other people’s faith define mine. No more letting other people’s opinions shape my walk with Jesus. It’s just me and him.
If you know anything about my story, this has been a LONG time coming. If you don’t know my story, ask me sometime. I would love to tell you!
Tune in next time for Part 2 🙂
