Several years ago, I sat in on a the weekly message of the college ministry I was in leadership for, just as I did every Thursday night. As Nate was unpacking some great biblical truths, one in particular caught my attention and it has been a thought that Jesus brings to mind every so often. On the race, the reality of it has become striking and altogether terrifying at the same time. And here is the thought: “Is it really sacrifice if it doesn’t hurt or cost you something?”
*Insert sucker punch as you think of all the “sacrifices” you have proclaimed over your life*
Honestly though, the very meaning of the word sacrifice is “the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim.” Something prized or desirable. But how often do we actually hurt when we claim to be sacrificing something?
As I was wrapping up my bachelor’s degree, my parents made my brother and I go through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. One of the biggest things Dave presses on, is implementing the practice of paying with cash only and limiting your uses of card (no credit cards, only debit). Why? Because it really doesn’t hurt to swipe a piece of plastic, but oh how we all know the pain of handing over precious cash. That’s the point! We grow up inherently learning that cash is kinda important and valuable and so when we lose it or hand it over, it means we have chosen to make the exchange of our cash for something else. We have deemed that “something else” [usually..unless you’re me on a shopping spree governed by shortsighted emotion. Rare, people, I promise] is of greater or of equal value to the cash we have just forked over in an exchange. When humans pay cash, it was found to actually have an effect on the brain quite similar to the receptivity of pain.
Wow. Ok. SO. Paying cash causes you to weigh the exchange you are about to make. It causes you to momentarily want to stuff it in a piggy bank and bury it in your backyard, hoping that when you dig it up in 3.5 million years, your dollars have had 3.5 million babies, and THEN maybe you can buy the object.
Sacrifice has to be similar. Whether you are sacrificing for your job, your family, your kids, your career….is it costing you something that is of equal or greater value? Or have you reversed the values? Has your sacrifice to build your career been your family? Has the sacrifice of time and money caused you to forsake your hopes and dreams you used to lose your mind over when you were younger? Has what you paid, been worth your gain? Or worse yet, have you called something a sacrifice that really never even cost you? If that’s the case, I would venture to argue that implies how much “value” of whatever you gained actually has.
When the rich young ruler came to Jesus and asked what he must do to inherit eternal life, Jesus told him to sell all his possessions and give the money to the poor, and then to come and follow him. Talk about scaryfice. Let’s be honest, I’ve dreaded this passage since I understood it with the fear that Jesus would tell me to do that.
I just chuckled as I wrote that in Cambodia on month ten of the World Race. Then to top it off, today, Jesus frowned at my heart in regards to money. I’ve become pretty close fisted with what little money I have left for the race at times, and at other times, been pretty flippant with my spending. I have some pretty exciting opportunities coming up after the race all of which would cause me to fundraise again (insert Rachel shivering and gagging) and rely on his provision and grace (insert apology for previous insert). He gently whispered, “If you can’t trust me with food money or other money when you are literally staring at orphaned babies who I provide for every day, how can you truly know and live in the fulness that I have and will offer you?” Sacrifice means something but the second part to sacrifice is trust. He told me to give all the cash I have, to the church we were teaching at this morning, and when I only gave some, he gave me another chance a few hours later (thank you for not making me another Ananias and Saphira example) when we went to the jungle to preach at an even smaller, poorer church. And by all the cash, I do mean all. Including my food budget money and play money I had left in my wallet for the last couple weeks of Cambodia. ***please know that I had no intention of telling this, as I am a firm believer in not broadcasting such things to protect the heart posture behind the actions but I felt it went right along with what Jesus is inspiring me to type***
I found myself humbly in a place where I’m not worried. I mean…honestly….I’m not destitute, I have options, but the whole point of this exercise for me today is more about choosing to not have options as my number 1 go to, but rather living the life I know he is pleased with out of choice rather than out of necessity of the moment. I’m not sure if that makes sense. I was literally staring at babies in the jungle today who were naked or clothed in scraps and dirt and I was questioning if I should give a whole $25 USD, because “but how am I going to eat or fulfill my beloved dream of seeing Angkor Wat or celebrate my teammate’s birthday…or…or…or…” Suddenly, I was so disgusted at myself. How could I be in month 10 and be having this conversation with myself? Because I have not chosen a priority of sacrificial giving in quite some time. Because I have forgotten what if feels like to have your heart race and wonder about the next move, because well…I already had it planned and covered. Because I forgot that “sacrifice” means cost, and the cost, determines the value of the gain. Those precious faces, how can you put a price on them? The growth of a small jungle church in a village in Cambodia, how could you not give and rejoice with Jesus as his beloved people return to him, one at a time? How could I?
The bottom line is that Jesus provides. And when you are in intimate relationship with Him, you have become one with him, just as husband and wife become one— and Jesus lived and lives sacrificially. Still. And sometimes, that passage of scripture that you fear the most, is simply highlighting a root that needs to be tended to. We are meant for a greater purpose than money. Those perfectly precious faces. Those souls returning to the outstretched arms and unblemished love of their Savior. Those calloused hands raised high in adoration and praise of people who better know the divine provision of our Father than I could ever hope to grasp. Oh if I could only explain.
“We are meant for so much more, have we lost ourselves?” – Switchfoot
