Now’s the time for us to rise- And carry hope to hopeless eyes- To show this world that mercy is alive [Elevation Band- “The Church”]
Traveling to Bangkok, Thailand on a very warm bus, I sit in a pool of my own sweat as I try to process the past few days spent in Pattaya…Thailand’s tourist hub for sex trafficking, drug abuse, strip clubs, and prostitution.
My teammate Mason shared with our squad at debrief that God had laid on his heart to go out to the well-known “Walking Street,” one of the darkest places in the world, to share the love of Jesus. All of X-squad got pumped up to go, feeling like warriors with full body armor going to battle, ready to shut down Walking Street. Ephesians 6 came to my mind…
…putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness…
…I was ready. My mind flashed back to Costa Rica Month 1 when we went out into the bars and met prostitutes and loved on them. I just finished month 7 of the World Race…of course Walking Street would be a piece of cake. Or so I thought.
Many of us headed out into the night about 10:00 pm, while several others stayed behind to cover us in prayer and worship. I was excited to see what God was going to do. My expectations were high.
The first step I took out of the taxi onto Walking Street, I had on my armor. Ok God, we got this. Who do you want me to talk to? Who needs your love right now?
A few more steps in, I looked around, and my feet became heavy. As if suddenly I had on steel-toed boots. It became hard to put one foot in front of the other. My armor began to fall off.
Flashing neon lights in every direction. A guy doing magic tricks to my right. Men (or women?) dressed up in frightening, bloody costumes. Techno music playing loudly. People pushing their way past me. Everywhere. People everywhere. Mostly older men, maybe in their 60s? 70s? Some of them holding hands with teenage girls laughing nervously. Girls in front of every building barely clothed, holding posters of “happy hour” or “specials.” Workers coming up to me and, literally, shoving “menus” in my face. One glance at the “menu” and I clearly see, through pictures, that it’s not for food, but for various sexual “services” with the price listed beside the picture.
I start to feel lightheaded. Why are we here anyways? God felt so distant.
“I can’t do this,” I say to my teammate Chase. She puts her arm on my shoulder as we walk, and assured me “yes you can, you are Light.” So we continue walking.
I kept thinking, Man…God’s heart is broken for this place. Tears began to fall as I let the pain God feels for this place take me over. I had heard of places like this, but to actually walk the streets of the devil’s playground was heartbreaking. The hopelessness was practically visible.
As we continued walking and praying, I found new strength. I started to “see” people instead of “stare” at them. Instead of looking the other direction when half-naked girls tried to get my attention, I made eye-contact and offered a smile. I began to see hurting people, and I noticed that no one was smiling. No one would make eye-contact with me. The shame and guilt here was strong. I talked to a couple different girls, but they didn’t seem to want to have a conversation. They just wanted to do business.
Emotionally exhausted, we made our way back to the entrance of Walking Street to catch a taxi back home. As we waited for a ride, my eye noticed a woman with a huge bandaid on her cheek sitting on the sidewalk. In one hand she held a plastic cup with a few coins inside. In the other arm she held a baby girl, barely 2 years old. Once the baby saw me, her face lit up, and she, literally, crawled up my leg and into my arms. Clinging to me tightly. I held her for as long as I could, and wanted so badly to take her home. Tears fell down as I had to give her back to her mom sitting on the sidewalk, and we got back in the taxi and headed home. I prayed for the baby to grow up knowing the love of Jesus, and know that there’s so many more opportunities for her outside of Walking Street.
Here’s some thoughts I had after leaving Walking Street. In the moment I was too distracted to think, but after some reflection I can come to terms with what God wants to teach me through the experience. –These people are hurting. They want to feel loved. I think that this is the way we all are. We all want to be loved, right? So those who don’t embrace the love of the Father will look for “love” in other places. They are trying to fill a hole that only God can fill completely. I saw myself in these people. No I’ve never been a prostitute, but I have searched for love in the wrong places. I’ve sought approval and security from men for a good portion of my life, and I’ve also struggled with lust. It’s still a struggle sometimes, but I take my temptations straight to my Father now instead of giving in and trying to hide them from Him. I can thank Him for rescuing me from that life, and bringing me into the light. That’s why we went to Walking Street…to bring Light to a dark place. And I do believe that we succeeded. Plus, Jesus has the victory, which means we do as well 🙂
Colossians 3- So put to death all the sinful earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, lust, impurity, and evil desires…
Please continue to pray for my team and I as we are in Wiang Pa Pao for the month working with Sending Hope International!! It is an orphan ministry that rescues girls at risk for being sold into sex trafficking. Please pray for daily energy and wisdom as we disciple the girls here and show them the love of Jesus, so that they don’t have to end up at places like Walking Street. Love you all!!!
