I stood in the middle of Walking Street, Pattaya, trying to take it all in. It almost looked like Bourbon Street in New Orleans: flashing lights everywhere, people crowding the streets, bachelor parties walking around. But this place had a much darker feel. Nobody was smiling, nobody made any eye contact, and I could tell that people weren’t here to make friends and talk. They were only here for one thing:
They were here to buy sex.
My squadmate, Mason, encouraged our whole squad during our all-squad debrief in Pattaya, to go out to one of Thailand’s busiest red light districts and spread God’s love and light. All we were to do was listen to the Spirit and follow.
My team and I got together and prayed before we set out. I sensed a peace within our team, even though we were going into a dark place. We almost had a joy, like an excitement to see how God was going to show up. I was praying all the big prayers: I wanted to see someone come to Jesus, I wanted to see a miracle!
Even as we went through the big entrance to the street and stared at all the neon signs advertising sex, we had peace and a joy because we knew God was in control. We all agreed that no matter what we did, we needed to just look people in the eyes and smile. We noticed that no one on this street was smiling and that the women, who were advertising their bodies, had very fake and forced smiles. I thought this was odd because this is supposedly a place of “fun and pleasure” but no one is smiling. So if we could just show the genuine joy that only comes from God, then maybe people would notice something different in us.
Honestly, I came into this night hoping that women would leave their lives behind and walk out of the bars through us sharing the gospel, but I realized it was a lot harder than I thought. Most of the women couldn’t speak English and once they realized I wasn’t there to buy sex, the conversations would end short.
At one point, we decided to buy a couple roses and give them out to someone we felt led to. I gave mine to a lady who was dressed in almost no clothes and advertising her strip club. I noticed she was the only one not forcing a smile, she had a sad look on her face. I went up and gave her the rose. She smiled, a genuine one. I asked her name but she didn’t understand, she didn’t speak any English. So I did the only thing I could do and pointed to the sky and said “God”, then I made a heart with my hand and said “loves” then I pointed to her and said “you.” She smiled again and I left because the bouncer was coming over. That was it, just a couple simple words
I left that night joyful that we followed The Spirit and spread a little of God’s love. I was also really proud of my team and my squad because we stepped out into an uncomfortable and dark place to spread the gospel. I saw people use their talents and gifts to reach out to people and relate to them. But, even in this joy, I had another nagging feeling inside:
“I didn’t do enough”
Nobody got saved, nobody left the bars, and I’m not even sure if anyone understood half of what I tried to say. I replayed the conversations I had in my head and wondered what I could have done more. Yes we did what the Spirit told us to do and we saw a couple smiles and had short conversations, but what would that do in the long run? Walking street was still there when we left, people were still buying and selling sex, how did a couple conversations and smiles do anything?
The next morning, we had a mini debrief with the squad about what happened the night before on Walking Street. We discussed emotions, conversations we had, and experiences. Then our squad leader asked us this question:
“Do you think we failed or succeeded?”
This question took me by surprise. I had never thought about it like that before. I felt like we had succeeded in a way by going out to that street and following God’s voice, but was that enough? No one came to Christ. Did we actually succeed?
Our squad leader starting talking, asking us to define what success meant. As we talked as a squad, we realized that success isn’t defined by what you do or how much you accomplish
Success is defined by if we obeyed God.
That put a whole different perspective on that night for me. I realized how works based my faith was and how when God tells me to do something I expect results and life changing events. That’s not what always happens though. God just wants us to obey and He will take care of the results.
God has a bigger plan than what I understand. Although the results of following His voice may be “small” in my eyes, He is working His greater plan through our obedience. I need to look at the small things as victories too. Maybe our prayers, our smiles, and looking people in the eyes made more of an impact than we realized. Maybe we were just supposed to plant seeds and other Christians will help those seeds grow. Or maybe God wanted to take our squad to that place to help open our eyes to the world. Now to us, sex tourism and trafficking is no longer a statistic, it’s something we saw with our own eyes. Now we have those pictures and stories and that we will never forget.
I learned through Walking Street that I should not follow The Spirit with the intention of seeing results. Instead, I should obey because I love God and I will do whatever He says. Instead of worrying about what to say or do to make the greatest impact, I need to let go and let God move and direct me. He has a plan, I just need to trust.
