For those of you that know me well, you know that I have lost a significant amount of people in the last five years. One of my biggest fears is losing the ones I love, especially while on the race. Well it’s month one and it has already happened.
Saturday morning I woke up to more commotion going on at the house below our apartment than normal. There is a family that lives below us that we have built a relationship with through waving at them from the balcony and giving hugs when we pass by each other at the corner store. The oldest daughter has even been attending our English class at the church. After about 30 minutes of observation a few of my teammates and I came to the conclusion that the grandmother had passed away. The Mom was sitting outside in her usual spot, we made eye contact and I waved just like the normal morning routine. Only this time instead of, “Hola! Como estas?” it was her saying, “Mi Mama.” as tears streamed down her face confirming what we had previously thought.
Rewind to Friday night.
My 24th birthday was Friday and during our team time my team spoke words of encouragement over me. Earlier in the week I had shared with my team my testimony and about the losses I have suffered. Amanda Kay, our squad leader, spoke over me that God would use the losses to serve others this year in an amazing way, and she was excited to see where God takes me in that. Little did I know, He planned an opportunity only 6 hours later to do just that.
Fast-forward back to Saturday Morning.
When I started to hear the commotion I knew I had to do something but wasn’t sure what it was that I needed to do. I looked at Amanda Kay and asked her if I should go down there. I debated about if I should wait for someone that could help translate. That is when the Mom and I had made eye contact. In that moment I knew exactly what needed to be done. I looked at Amanda Kay and said, “I’m going.” I walked out our front door still in my pajamas, just Jesus and myself. The Mom and the Aunt met me at the gate and welcomed me into their mourning with hugs. The only Spanish words I could muster up were, “Lo siento, mi amiga.” That was all that was said, nothing more, and nothing less. I sat on the step next to the little boy. The step that is usually filled with smiling faces every morning but in that moment was filled with teary eyes and running noses. The little girls came outside and joined us. The oldest daughter, who came to English class, sat next to me in silence. I quickly realized that she is very similar to myself. I can tell by the look on her face that she felt pain and had been crying but as we sat there and more people would walk past to enter the house she would hold back her tears. I knew what she was thinking. Be strong. Hold it together. Take care of my siblings. Take care of my mom. As tears would fall she would wipe her face and act like it never happened. Since I didn’t have to words to say I just started to cry. I pointed to my tears and played charades to try to tell her that it’s ok to cry, its good to cry, that even I cry. A few more minutes passed by and she quietly says, “Gracias.”
As more people showed up I felt like my job was done. I told the girls that if they needed me to come knock on the door or just yell my name up to the balcony. When I got back up to our apartment I noticed that part of my team was sitting on the balcony in silence. We sat and listened to the mourning while watching people come and go. It may seem silly but I started to mourn the loss of someone I have never even met, I believe some of my team had felt the same way. So we continued to sit in silence for the remainder of the morning.
I pray that this family finds peace in the Lord. I pray that they know the Lord. I pray that they continue to mourn as long as needed. Please join me in this pray for this family.
