When God speaks. Something that I had never considered before the Race. Before the race, I thought I knew what talking to God looked like and how He also spoke to us. Man, was I wrong..
Growing up, I always assumed that when people talked to God, they weren’t actually looking for a verbal answer. When prayers were sent up, God heard them and would show himself through physical acts like healing, providing, or love but never actually spoke.
Listening prayer is something that Adventures has challenged us in since training camp. To be honest, at camp I had no idea what they were talking about so I ignored it and pushed it to the side. In between camp and launch, I didn’t complete our listening prayer devotional or even attempt it because I thought it was silly. You want me to sit in silence and just listen? Listen to what? The wind blowing? See a message written in the sky? Suddenly have words written in my journal telling me exactly what to do? No way.
God had different plans though. Our ministry in Nepal was very focused on prayer. Prayers over the city, prayer walks, and praying for people of different religions, but it also gave me insight on how spiritual discipline can change your relationship with God. Our host, his family, and their organization does “Amad” time every day before leaving for ministry. Amad time is sitting with Lord for an hour and just exploring your relationship with God. You can pray, listen to worship music, ask God questions, or whatever you feel you need to grow. It was life changing. After about 2 weeks of spending an hour a day in purposeful time with God, my relationship with Him changed completely. It felt natural to explore the Bible and ask him questions about every day life. I was loving every minute of it and thought how cool for God to show me this. Then of course, He showed me something bigger.
I have always struggled with decision making. Whether its what dress to buy or what college to attend. I’ve done this for so long that my brain is actually trained to not give me a direct answer at first. So one morning in the mountains during my Amad time, I thought I would just ask some questions and see where it led me. It was about simple stuff. Things to do after the Race, questions if I had done this bible study right, or am I growing enough and I didn’t expect an answer. When all of the sudden I hear a clear small voice in the back of my head. Answering every question I asked. It was immediate. It was clear. It was simple.
I battled for weeks debating if that was God talking or just myself, because it is so new to me. Looking back, and continuing in that prayer lifestyle, I know 100% it was God. God has done some amazing things in me, and through our ministries while on the Race, but the change in me was not what I expected. It was so incredible to think that the God of the whole universe who can make mountains move, just took the time to speak directly to me and answer my questions in a way that I couldn’t doubt it was Him.
Ever since that moment, I feel like I have traveled to a different level in my faith. I feel more connected with God and I actually have a relationship with Him. Granted, I don’t always get such direct answers but it taught me that no matter how small or silly the question, He is there to listen. He is weaved into every part of our lives, even if we ignore it or push it aside like I did for so long. This has begun a new chapter in my life and it has already changed me in so many ways.
