So we are in our unofficial second week of all squad month. WHAT. Time is moving TOO FAST. I feel like I’m falling behind and making great strides ahead all at the same time. I’m exhausted and excited. I’m anxious and calm. I’m happy and confused all rolled into one. (Exhaustilerating right?) So fun fact for the day, coming into the World Race we are all required to take a Myers Briggs personality test. I have actually taken this several times before but threw out every result because of how drastically it changed with every time I took it. So officially on my Adventures page, I am an ENFJ. If you don’t know what that is it stands for Extrovert, Intuition, Feeler, and Judge.
If you know me at all, you know this is not accurate. Over the past few years for whatever reasons, I have very much become an introvert. Unless you know me and have for a while, I don’t open up easily. So coming into the Race, I was very misled by myself. I had all these expectations of meeting people and instant connections that just didn’t happen. I found myself having to work harder at it and that small talk wasn’t that easy. I was so confused. I had all these friends back home that I felt like were instant connections and we are so close that I don’t even remember the awkward first phases of friendship until it hit me. The few close friends that I have, have always been in my life. Granted there are few newer ones in there, but there was always a connection. Whether it was a roommate, a class, or some situation that we were in and it was either make it or break it, so training camp was reality check for me. Everyone has fears about the race and mine was connections. How am I going to connect with the other 54 people on my squad? What do I have to bring to the table? I don’t have a degree, I didn’t play sports through high school and college, I’m not active in a church community at home. I felt like I had nothing. From the combination of the spiritual warfare that we faced and being thrown into community in Month 1, I have come to realize that those thoughts were attacks from the enemy. He was using my insecurities against me to try and cripple and downplay what I wanted to do for God. Do I still have some of those fears? Yes of course but I know how to combat them now. So, with every connection I make and conversation I have that disproves those thoughts, he is losing. We are all unique individuals with qualities that make us stand out. Without just one of these qualities our church isn’t working at full capacity. So whether you are on the World Race or are at home reading this, know that you are needed. Your unique personality is why God created you. You are so precious and important that he took one look at the world and knew He needed one of you.
I still can’t get a consistent result, but I no longer doubt that I am needed.
Isaiah 64:8 “Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.”
