I know I know. I just posted this great blog about hearing from God and now I am ignoring him. It sounds crazy and honestly it is.
If you read my last blog, then you will know that I was making great progress in my relationship with God. I was doing everything I thought I was supposed to. I was doing listening prayers, my daily bible reading, praying for the little things, and just soaking up his word multiple times a day. Then reality set in.
I was naive enough to think that after a month in Nepal where Amad time was part of our ministry, that it would be easy to continue that lifestyle into Vietnam. No. It was only a few days after arriving that I realized God wasn’t a priority anymore. I love this month’s work. We are teaching English, building a fence, and working with preschoolers. I fell right back into home where I helped remodel my house and worked at a preschool 30+ hours a week. I am now realizing that was the problem. It was too easy to fall back into that. To think that our physical work for the day was enough to keep my spiritual energy activated. It’s not.
God wants us to depend on Him for everything. Not just when it’s easy. Not just when it’s convenient. Not just when we haven’t worked 13 hours in a day and feel rested enough to put in the time, but ALL THE TIME.
I have also been ignoring my newfound relationship with Him. I got the answers that lined up with my desires in Nepal and unbeknown to me, I was terrified that if I asked them again, he would change his mind. Crazy right? I actually make some progress and I’m doing great and in the next moment I let the devil in to ruin it.
This is my confession. A confession that I am not perfect. A confession that I am human and I do make mistakes.
It’s also a promise. A promise that I have recognized the problem (me haha) and I am going to change that. A promise that I will put God back in 1st place and push forward in my relationship with him. We all struggle with things on a day to day basis. It is a constant battle but it’s worth it. God is worth it.
The World Race isn’t easy. It is and is going to be a constant battle but I know it’s worth it. It’s worth it to help grow the kingdom of God. It’s worth it because of the smiles I get every morning at 7am when we arrive at the preschool to 15 kids full of energy. It’s worth it because of the laughter shared around the dinner table between my team, our hosts family, the employees of the preschool, and the kids as one family.
Please help me continue fighting for the kingdom of God and my own personal relationship with him this year. I am only $1400 away from being fully funded and the deadline is April 30th! If you can’t support me financially, prayers are just as important. This is a battle we are all fighting and what an impact it will make to be united as One Nation Under GOD.
“Submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” James 4:7
-Rachel
