I got back from training camp a few days ago and I am still at a loss for words to describe it. I’m still processing the week that was probably one of the most physically, emotionally, and spiritually challenging weeks of my life.
There were times that I was cold, exhausted, emotionally drained, and honestly questioning whether I could do this or not. But through it all God confirmed over and over that He chose me for the race and that He has a wonderful plan to grow and use me.
The Lord revealed hurt and wounds from my past. He broke the chains of perfection and performance. He gently reminded me that I didn’t need to live up to the expectations people placed on me over the years to earn His love, to be able to be used by Him, and I don’t have to hold everything together for fear of scaring away my new teammates.
One night we were praying and I caught myself thinking, “God, I don’t feel worthy – of your love or to be used by you.” And just a few minutes after that thought crossed my mind I felt someone behind me, they laid their hand on my shoulder and whispered, “You are worthy, daughter. You are worthy, daughter. You are worthy, daughter.” Over and over. Daughter. I am a uniquely-designed, lavishly-loved daughter of the King of the Universe. That is where my identity and worth is, not in the appearance that I try to maintain or the performance I try to put on. He wants to use me in my brokenness and my weakness because that is where is power is made perfect.
And I want you to know that you too are a uniquely-designed, purpose-intended, lavishly-loved son/daughter of the King! Whatever you may be struggling with, know that is what is true of you!
We were placed into teams later in the week. Meet the group of women I will be doing life and ministry with during the race.
We call ourselves Team Steadfast Pursuit. Because God relentlessly pursues us, because we want to seek after each other and love each other in that way, and because we want to pursue His people all over the world in that way.
God challenged me to press into the new family He has given me in my squad. As I opened up with them and shared my struggles and feelings of inadequacy it opened me up to feel such freedom, acceptance, and love.
I’m so excited for the things God has planned for Steadfast Pursuit, to see how He grows each of us, and for the immeasurably more that He promises to do in and through us.
I love them so much already and I want you to get to know them and love them too so here is a link to their blogs!
Brittany Obee Annie Duplechain Shara Perry Emily Bishop Kelsey Shreve
I left training camp with a full heart, needing a shower, wanting more and more of the Lord, and beyond ready for the adventure that is quickly approaching.
We will be leaving in roughly 5 weeks on July 3 for the Dominican Republic!
