A lot of transformation has happened this year. We have grown and learned, been stretched and challenged, and experienced Love in a life-changing way. That being said, many of us fear that the changes God has made in us will not be able to withstand the pressure of life in America. So, in my last team time, I asked that we all write letters to ourselves to read after we've been home for one month. To remind us of who we truly are. Here's mine:
Dear Rachel,
You are great. You are beautiful. You are vital to the Kingdom. You have impacted lives throughout your life but especially on the Race. I hope that right now you believe, more than ever, how worthy you are. And if you don't, read over the verses where your Daddy proclaims your identity, read the letters and notes you received throughout the Race, call someone. But, first of all, pray. Pray first always. I hope by now that consistent, watchful prayer has become part of your daily life. If not, THATS OK. God is not disappointed in you. He loves you and wants you just as you are. Remember how you grew on the Race to become your authentic self. Remember the night in Romania when the Holy Spirit did a mighty work and it finally clicked.
Just as you are.
Remember that you are worthy of good things. Great, life-giving friendships, iron-sharpens-iron community, a fulfilling job, a man who loves God and you. And maybe you don't have those things right now, but it doesn't mean you are any less worthy than you would be if you did. Rejection does not change or shift your identity one ounce. Bring your pain and guilt and sadness and struggles to the cross and LEAVE THEM THERE. You don't have to prove yourself.
Just as you are.
Do remember what it says in Proverbs. God will provide, He will answer, but He invites us into the work. You are not lazy. You are hardworking, high-achieving. If you want something, GO AFTER IT. God will help you in your weakness. You deserve great things, things you've always hoped and dreamed and longed for. Keep bringing your desires to God. He put them in your heart for a reason (He wants to fulfill them). Remember, above all, to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you. You did it! You did the Race and allowed your Father to remold and remake you. You ARE that person. What a feat that is!! Embrace the struggle. It's going to be ok, baby girl. Love, Rachel
