So I'm going to admit something
that may be somewhat disappointing to future racers,
somewhat surprising to my friends back home,
somewhat off-putting to anyone who thinks a year long mission trip
is full of constant adventure and amazing stories 24/7,
and definitely a frustration to me:
A year doing anything over and over
will burn you out,
if you don't learn how to keep the passion alive.
So that's where I found myself month 8 of this crazy journey I'm on…feeling guilty that the joy I had was gone. That those feelings of insecurity, danger, love, hope, perseverance and willingness to GO anywhere had faded away into a passive life of moving from country to country, doing the same things.
Don't get me wrong, this life is full on ADVENTURE. When I think about my life a year ago, I can't recognize myself. The people I've met, the lives we've changed, the conversations I've had, the freedom I've discovered…it's all too movie-like at times.
But what I think is hard to understand (unless you've done the race) is that it's not enough.
There's this feeling that there's MORE.
There is always more, even when you're doing the most you can do.
More to know about God,
More to know about your family, husband, wife, kids, friends,
More to discover and explore.
Maybe we racers are all just adrenaline junkies now, maybe we need thrill and danger to keep us awake, whatever it is…I found it this month.
During our simple assignment this month to "Ask The Lord"…I felt Him challenging me to discover. I know that our creator lovingly tucked adventures and mysteries away in His creation, thrilled to watch us discover them like excited children.
I remembered that His call wasn't only to minister, but to LIVE.
And in the living is where ministry and loving and doing and going takes place.
*I apologize for the incorrect spelling of the word 'lose' in the video, I've been out of American society for 8 months now…typing and spelling have gone down the drain…cut me some slack… 😛
