Living in freedom is so good.

Embracing freedom is hard, but so good.
This week the squad has be practicing vulnerability and freedom.
I’m learning how deep satan’s lies go in my mind.
All my life satan told me things like I was incapable of loving others,
and that I always speak negative words.
But God says otherwise.
I never thought actually believing what God says would be so challenging. But after 22 years, I’ve become rather comfortable believing the lies. It’s just easy to go back to them.
Breaking out of those lies and choosing to believe who God says we are in His word is the key to a
free life.
Believe what God says about you! Walk in freedom.

This week our ministry site was a daycare/mother’s clinic.
 The mothers come every morning with their children to get a meal and a word from God.
This morning I got to give the devotion while Anna, our translator and my new best friend, translated.
I shared my testimony and at the end I told them that God loves them each so much.
I said that even though bad things will happen in this life,
we can always choose hope and love in our hearts.

Next we weighed each naked baby to see which ones needed the most food.
As the mothers left the kitchen, Christel, Jamie and I prayed for them and blessed their meals.
The director of the home would tell us some of their background, and most of the mothers and children had Aids. Some were orphans with a sibling caring for them. Some smiled and thanked us but others looked sad and hopeless. We prayed over them all. 
We learned the words in Portuguese to tell them they were beautiful and that God loved them.
At one point a woman held my hand in hers when I helped her carry her food outside.
Her graceful smile spoke a thousand thanks.
I cried with love and joy and had to get myself back together before I went back inside.

I’m glad ministry was so good that morning, because we had no idea what was coming that afternoon.

After lunch of rice and beans, we went to the local hospital to pray over all the patients.
The children’s ward was quiet, empty and dirty.
We saw a little boy with malaria writhing in pain and crying.
The room felt so heavy as we each gathered round his bed and prayed for him.
Christel began singing.
As we all joined her, the boy calmed down and lay quietly.

It all felt hopeless, like we couldn’t do anything.
These children were just lying around covered in flies.
Some die while waiting for something as simple as a blood donation.
They’re about to pass away with no food, proper care or medicine.
I thought, what would a few prayers and songs do? My faith was so weak.
….Even if we did pray for healing with all the faith in the world, these children’s futures looked dark.
I sat outside frustrated that I couldn’t do more.
Then God began to speak.
He asked me questions that helped me realize I was taking all the sadness and sickness on my shoulders, trying to carry the weight and provide a solution.
But providing a solution isn’t why I’m in Mozambique.
It is God’s joy to heal and provide for these children in the way He knows best.
A sudden lightness came over me as I handed over the heaviness from the hospital to God, and He replaced it with His love.

I was able to bless the sick and release the pain from weighing me down.

Although it was hard, visiting the hospital was necessary. I began to let go of my preconceived notions of who God is and realized pain and sickness are relative to the lenses through which we view the world.   

Even though many people complain about healthcare system in America, at least we have one.
I’m so thankful for Doctors and people like my dad and sister in the medical field who know the right medicine and procedures and want to help people. We are so blessed.

Although I can’t provide an immediate, tangible solution to the pain I see, God knows what He’s doing and I’m thrilled to do the simple task of bringing love and light into these people’s day. Fill me up, God.

If you have the skills, they are needed everywhere.