This week has already been full of birthday presents from Jesus.
Yesterday was more than I could have asked for. After an amazing message in church and family dinner for my mom's birthday I snuck away for some special time with Jesus.
I loaded my backpack with my new mini speakers, iPod and bible and set off to find a good windy spot to watch the sunset and storm clouds that were forming. The weather was surprisingly less humid and the 103 degree day was cooling off. The sky was preparing for rain as I sat down on a little bridge and turned on "After All" by David Crowder.
I talked over and thanked Jesus for what He had been allowing me to learn.
Weakness.
It's a refreshing and freeing concept to grasp. To know I bring nothing to the table helps me embrace His work in my life.
Being a visual person, my mental picture all week was a small rag doll, something that can be manipulated by it's owner. I thought of Raggedy Anne, a funny but helpful image. I remembered…when I played with dolls as a girl I made them come to life and do fun things and go on awesome adventures…but deep down I knew that it was really only myself that was imagining these adventures.
When I accept the fact that I am just a small lifeless creature without God, everything falls into place.
I can't 'work up' enough trust on my own because I have nothing in me. I can't 'try' to get more faith on my own because I have nothing in me. God gives us these things as a gift when we confidently ask.
And when He gives….He GIVES. There is no limit to what He does and how.
And it is lovely.
It would be like expecting a doll or a toy to accomplish something alone. It's simply impossible without something Bigger controlling it.
As I sat there letting this sink in I spontaneously reached into my backpack. I had bought it a few months ago at Goodwill and washed it twice, I thought I'd checked and cleaned out all the pockets. I found myself reaching into a pocket and pulled out a long chain, at the end of it was a little wooden charm of a ragdoll. It was just like I had pictured, red hair and a dress. She was even wearing a little crown.
I laughed and put on the necklace. Even if it had been left from the previous owner I loved the fact God let me find it right then as He was pouring out His love.
How can God be so infinite yet so intimate all at once?
Needless to say, I went home and couln't stop smiling as I showed off my necklace and talked about Jesus with our guests who were over.
But there was more.
I got home and settled down in my room with some coffee and the Hunger Games when my friend Daniel called me. He simply asked "What's been going on with you? God just told me to call you."
Daniel's a pretty cool guy with a radical heart for Jesus. We got to laugh share and talk about what God's been doing in each of our lives, pray together and hang up marveling at God's coolness and timing.
And today donations started pouring in. I love how God does things in our life that are so far beyond us that we have ablsolutely NO room to brag about them being from our own strength.
I love God. I love how He works. I love my family and new friends. I love life.
