3 months down… people said and I agreed that this trip would be great for me. Great for me to grow, change and let God transform me. When I began I didn’t know what to think about it, should I expect God to show up and radically change me because I am doing something unusual… and when I thought about it the answer was “kind of”… because I believe that no matter how we are serving, loving and obeying our father, he can radically transform and change our hearts… and continue to grow us…
but the truth is when you are on the world race you get to see things you would never usually see, things that make you fall to your knees in awe of God, things that bring you to your face because your heart is broken, things that pull out the best and worst in you, cultures and people who do life differently than what you think is right but are still alive and well…
(just a fun moment… life on the race in moldova, cute kids, teammates, making fun in the forest)
You lose things that make you comfortable. You don’t usually know what tomorrow will hold and there is no such thing as planning. You lose all the things you thought you had a “right” to. There is no where to run and hide when you don’t want to “deal” with something. You are constantly pouring out… and fighting for the time that you can get full… You worship God in languages you never thought you would learn.
one of the best parts is that when you are in far out places without all the “things” that we have back home to distract you… you spend your time doing only a few things… resting, praying, serving, fellowshipping, keeping in touch with back home, worshipping, eating, digging deeper, encouraging one another, sleeping… It is amazing to think about how much time I get to be intentional and commit to the Lord because there is nothing here to distract me. Something I am sure I will miss when I come home.
Trusting god becomes my only option. When I get a tough email from home about someone in poor health, when my best friend is having a tough day and I can’t run and hug her and eat chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream in bed with her to make it better, when I need money to keep going but only have email to ask, when you see such huge problems with the world and know that you can do nothing about it, when you miss out on huge and important events in peoples lives that you care about, when you are struggling and cant run to the people or things that make it better… you just get to choose to trust. It is so sweet. It is so good… to be forced to trust God with things that usually would jump to fix myself…I think that is the biggest lesson I am learning so far… God really is in control and he really does have my best interest in mind… He does love me and he will take care of me and the people I love… He is sovereign and he is good. We can trust him.
I am excited to see what the Lord has next.
There are many unknowns right now… who will be on my team after the team changes, what country we will spend October in, what lessons God has waiting for me in the next chapter, how I will grow but what I do know… is that I am so blessed to be here, or there, or wherever I might be, I am blessed to be alive and I am blessed that I get to wake up every morning with a purpose…
