Jesus told me month 1 that there was something trapped inside of me that needed to come out. Not only was Jesus telling me this but ever since I started this journey my squad leaders have been saying the same thing. They spoke over all of A-squad that we are a people anointed with a sound that the world needs to hear. Heck ya, I’ll receive that, but what exactly does that even mean….or look like?
It’s now been 8 weeks since the beginning of this journey and I’ve yet to fully experience this sound that wants to come out.
Although, one time in Romania I think I might have gotten a sweet taste of this. It had been a hard week struggling with the new dynamics of living life in community and what not when I felt this nudging in my spirit to grab my i-pod and go sing with Jesus. So, I went outside in the fields and worshiped like a crazy woman. It was intense, extreme and radical…. but desperately needed. What ended up happening wasn’t me singing at all. I was literally yelling at the top of my lungs. At one point I was bent over with my hands on my knees shouting. I could tangibly feel things falling off of me that weren’t supposed to be there. Stuff I had picked up along the way that weren’t mine and I didn’t even know I was carrying them.
At that moment, I didn’t care what anyone thought, what anyone said, what anyone could think, what anyone would say. I didn’t have to prove anything. I didn’t have to be afraid. The fear of man was nowhere near.
This past month was ridiculously insane for me. I can’t even begin to fully describe exactly what I mean. But please trust me, it was crazy. I wanted to shout so loud, but I couldn’t even muster up a whisper. I felt trapped and locked inside of a cage- voiceless. I prayed all month for the sound to come out again.
The other night at the airport a couple of us were playing a game where you write words on each other’s hands. These words are supposed to speak prophetically into the next month of your race. It’s fun because it serves as a vision casting for what your next month might be like.
My squad leader grabbed my hand and wrote the word s c r e a m. It's going to be a good month.
P.S. I made it safely to Nepal. I am loving it here. Below is a picture of the Himalayan mountain range from my plane window. We are staying with a pastor named Reuben and his family in Katmandu. We are staying in the city for the next week partnering with his ministry serving the Nepalie community, teaching them the basics of computer skills and loving on village kids. Then next Sunday we will leave for an 11-day journey to the Tibetan border entering villages that have never seen Americans or heard of the gospel before. Please be praying. My heart is for you!
