The below quote sums up how I have felt at several points in this race. They say we are in a constant cycle of abandonment, brokenness, dependency, empowerment, calling, confirmation. I suppose I agree.
From You Shall Know Our Velocity by Dave Eggers: A book of two friends traveling the world in one week to give away $32,000 to random strangers, so that it might facilitate the mourning of their friend who recently died in a tragic car accident.
The protagonist, having a conversation with his friend in his head:
“-Don’t you understand? Leap over this.
-Hand. I am ready. I am tingling for the world. But I was already raw. Then we planned this trip and I thought I could do more, that I could do better. But now I want to see the end. When you know when the weight will be lifted you can bear it in the meantime. You know this?”
-You have to give everything.
-This is what I’m doing.
-We are creating it. We are conjuring it.
-Everytime we do it it’s a new world. I live again. Love is implicit in every connection. It should be. Thus when absent it makes us insane. It breaks our equilibrium and we have to flounder for reasons. When we pass by another person without telling them we love them it’s cruel and wrong and we all know this. We live in a constant state of denial and imbalance.
-Well, I wouldn’t go so far–
-Everyone must embrace us.
-They have embraced us.”
