Month 7 of the World Race. Nearing 25 years of age. New team. In Thailand. Family, friends, job, life in Texas all seeming like a distant era. The feeling like I am a new creature—physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally in this totally uncharted territory of a season. I now have not one, but TWO foot tattoos.
My first Christmas away from home this year has been so much more of a landmark then I ever dreamed it would be.
The family under the tree
My Christmas bounty
Pastry masterpieces
Caroling
It was a festive, heart warming Christmas to be sure. A World Race Christmas for the books.
Christmas is supposed to make us feel like a kid. One who enjoys tons of sugar and toys and singing silly songs quite loudly at strangers. It’s an honor to really even be around kids at Christmas. There’s nothing more heartwarming than seeing the glow of colored twinkle lights in a child’s eye. It makes one think of one’s self as a child, shaking Christmas presents for clues. It makes one think of traditions. Of where we have been and what we have done in previous years, on previous December 25ths. The older you get though, you think of how so dramatically things and families have been changed by the passing of another year. Last Christmas I had to work in the PICU, alone with a little CF boy and his mom and another dear heart baby. Here I am, on this Christmas, in Bangkok, with 3 wonderful friends. But away from my family and friends. In absence of many relationships I hold so dear. Like my Mom. I miss my incarcerated Mom a lot at Christmas. Like an old boyfriend, who I spent 6 Christmas’ with.
And then it dawned on me, yesterday while sitting on a beach. I am a big girl now. And because I’m a big girl now, I could find myself in any number of situations on any given holiday with any given person/people that I’ve yet to meet in the future. Or ones I’ve met in the past.
There’s an uncertainty there, when all we want is for Christmas to give us a sense of home. Of stability and family–of our foundations. Christmas keeps us the same, but landmarks how things have become so very different. Of how we’ve grown up. How we’re big boys and big girls now.
“Embrace relational uncertainty. It’s called romance.
Embrace spiritual uncertainty. It’s called mystery.
Embrace occupational uncertainty. It’s called destiny.
Embrace emotional uncertainty. It’s called joy.
Embrace intellectual uncertainty. It’s called revelation.”
– (Mark Batterson, In a Pit With a Lion On a Snowy Day, pg 89)
After Thanksgiving on Zanzibar, and Christmas in Bangkok, I’ll take my chances with holiday uncertainty. I’ll call it an adventurous life.
