I don’t like kids. I am not mean to them I just struggle with relating to them so I get bored. I would rather hang out with a 13 year old teenager who hates me than hang out with little kids, just my personal preference.
At least, that is how I used to think.
Before the race, I struggled with a hard heart. I have a lot of past hurts and things that have been done to me that have caused me to be “tough” and many times angry. The past few years God has been slowly softening my heart and taking away my hurt and anger piece by piece.
But if you know anything about the race or missions trips that are similar, you know they are pressure cookers for growth.
Last month (March) in South Africa we did a lot of ministry with children. Time and time again my teammates would tell me,
“You are so good with children, you say you don’t like them but you are great with them!”
I hated to admit it, well actually I didn’t admit it, but God was starting to soften my heart and grow my love for the children. By the end of South Africa, I proudfully held back tears that I so badly wanted to just let pour out of my eyes and stream down my face as we left the children the last day of our ministry.
Despite the breakthroughs in South Africa, I still was dreading our “Womanistry” month in Swaziland on the top of a mountain at an ORPHANAGE!
“UGH! More children!” I thought, and I began to grow jealous of the men doing their “Manistry” month of hard labor and a ministry that is more my cup of tea.
But God knew what he was doing when he paired me up with my little orphan buddy, Joseph.
The whole month Joseph was practically a part of my wardrobe. I carried him on my back the whole month loving on him. Joseph came to the El Shaddai Orphanage when he was just an infant. His mother “reportedly” died of AIDS and his father was unknown like the rest of his family. Malnourished and so sickly that his newborn infant clothes were more like toddler clothes on him, Joseph was brought to the ministry and joined his new family at El Shaddai. He was nursed back to health and is now thriving eight years later free from HIV and AIDS, a miracle in itself.
I could still see the effects of him being malnourished as an infant. Joseph would pick up random non-food items and chew on them as if he was trying to gain nutrients from anything he could find. He would eat paper, bark, corn husks, orange peels, you name it he tried to eat it.
I quickly fell in love with Joseph. Come to find out, he is much like me! When we played catch, he had a devious laugh if I wasn’t able to catch the ball, very similar to my joking devious laugh if someone came across the same misfortune of not catching a ball or having a prank played on them. He loves to joke, he loves to run, he loves to workout, and best of all he loves to love…in his own way.
Joseph didn’t talk much and I am sure that many of my squad mates probably thought I was talking to myself the whole month or making up his responses, but the truth is, I got Joseph, I understood him in a way others didn’t. His “yes” consists of him moving his eyebrows up and down and his “no” is simply no response at all. He watches people a lot or stares off into the distance and when he does that, he is thinking about the people and “why they do what they do”. He is a very smart boy, a very caring boy, and a very fun loving boy that wormed his way into my heart.
It wasn’t always easy though. I had to work at it at first to get him to pay attention to me. But I think the time I was willing to pour into him made it easier for him to open up to me and allow me in. We had so much fun together this month and I enjoyed learning how to love and receive love from him. God knew that I needed Joseph, and He knew that Joseph needed me. Through the month I watched him grow in his confidence and his patience. He stopped complaining when he had to wait for a turn to play with me and started being more patient and loving towards his friends.
One day when Joseph eagerly raised his hand in chapel to say the memory verse, I realized that he has the makings for a pastor (or missionary). I told Joseph he should pray about being a pastor and his response was that he wanted to be an English teacher. When I told him he could be both, he became excited. After a few weeks, I asked him if he still wanted to be an English teacher, his response was, “yes, but also a Pastor!”
A few of our squadmates did an “original design” prophecy portfolio for each child. I was so excited when I read Joseph’s. It was everything I had felt God was doing in this young child’s life. They prophesied that God is going to use him in miraculous ways to reach people in places that he would not normally be able to reach in places a normal Swazi wouldn’t be able to go. I could already see the hand of God in this child’s life. Saved from a life that was sure to bring him death in AIDS or HIV through the tragic death of his mother, brought to an orphanage that makes sure each child knows about God, loved on by missionaries from the World Race more often than not, supported by Christians from all around the world, plain and simple the Lord is working in young Joseph’s life.
One of my last talks with him was about how God has been protecting him and the amazing grace God has on his life. I told him how lucky he is. I got to encourage this young boy and call him higher into a greater plan for his life than he could ever dream alone. I am so excited for this little boy, and can’t wait to see how God moves in his life. And just like Joseph needed me this month to love on him, encourage him, and uplift him I needed him the same for God to soften my heart and mold me into what he wants me to be.
I find it a little ironic. In the Bible, Rachel prayed and prayed for a child and she was only granted two. Her firstborn child was Joseph and her second born child was Benjamin. I had two buddies this month assigned to me; the second one was Benjamin who, in his own way, touched my life as well. I prayed and prayed for God to soften my heart, mold me, grow me, and heal me and like the Rachel of the Bible; God answered my prayer with a Joseph.
The best part is, I see Joseph as being the first of many God uses me to call to greater places. Just like in the Bible how Joseph was the firstborn son to Rachel, Joseph is the first child God used to truly move my heart and the first child I am sure that I (Rachel) will get to minister to on a deep level to call into a life of greatness.
(Sorry no pictures. Our wifi is not allowing uploads! Stay tuned for pictures of Joseph!)
