Well during this blog post, WARNING, I’m about to get real.
But don’t be scared or worried please.
Picture this is your head.
So a 18 year old girl flies to Albania to follow God, having an amazing time she then arrives where she is going and finds out there is no Wi-Fi. And the closest Wi-Fi around is at a coffee shop or bar in the middle of town with a 45 minute walk. At this time her ministry host tells her no women are allowed to leave without a man present and must be very safe.
And this is the situation present right now in my life.
The feeling of being looked at and demoralized by men every time I walk out of our safe compound is tiring.
As they drive by they slow down, they honk at us girls, they yell things through the car, and obnoxiously never stop staring.
This certain “struggle” might seem like not a big deal to some of you reading this, but it’s not easy to be in a foreign place and my purpose is to share Jesus and the majority people around you and men who are constantly sexualizing you. im aware this happens in America toobut here it is on a whole new level.
i am getting more comfortable with walking into town and making due although it’s not enjoyable.
But the question is how do I share Jesus with men who can’t see my mind or hear what I’m saying?
This is already a struggle I have of being put down by men thinking of just my looks and can’t have a conversation. But why do i have these struggles. Cause ive had people look at me in this way so often? Because those who are close to me have demoralized me for being a woman or just about anything? It’s true. It’s been a struggle. And it still is.
My way to attack this problem so far has been to stop and pray for that person after every stare, every nasty comment, and every time a man looked at me and saw just a body.
Oh how thankful I am that God has perfectly and wonderfully made me. With a beautiful mind and strong will and truly the joy of being a woman.
im thankful for who I am but obviously I have some healing to do as a result of the way I’m feeling about men right now.
(by the way I LOVE the men on my squad!)
also “fun” fact literally as I am writing this a man came and sat by me and started hitting on me with obviously bad intentions
Jesus help me love, and help me heal.
