Do you remember the days AIM and away messages were a thing? I was in middle school at the time, and my away message looked something like this:
~*SiNgLe n ReAdY 2 MiNgLe*~
Is there any possible way I could have been a more embarrassing middle schooler?
Despite how embarrassing that is, it reveals that being single or not was what I found my identity in. Maybe you can relate?
As I’ve gotten older, though, I’ve realized wanting a romantic relationship is at the very core of American culture. People are conditioned to think there is something wrong with them if they don’t have a significant other. There are entire industries that make bookoos of money off people who can’t stand the thought of being “alone”.
American culture tells us we are worthless if we don’t have a significant other to validate us and treats single people as second-class citizens.
This is the mentality I had for a huge portion of my life. I even struggled with it when I was asked to commit to staying single until I my Race ends. When I made that commitment, I thought that would mean until the end of this year, but since I moved back my route, it will be until the end of next year. This brings me to a grand total of 2.5 years of commitment to stay single.
As time has gone on, however, I have become less and less and less and less concerned with it, until now, I really have no concern for it.
I have found so much joy and peace in serving others with the Lord that I am content without a significant other to validate me to the American culture and church. My goal in creating this post is so you can see and be free to experience the beauty in singleness, as well.
I hope you don’t hear me saying that I reject marriage or married people in this blog. Some of my favorite people in the whole world are married and put the gospel on full display in their marriages.
But Paul has significant things to say about people who are not married in 1 Corinthians 7.
32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
Paul also does not think marriage is a bad thing. He does say, though, that having a wife or husband can be a distraction from your commitment to God.
What I am really trying to say here is that you don’t have to have a significant other to be happy. It is possible to have complete joy and fulfillment in the Father’s love without validation from someone else.
Marriage gives us a wonderful, beautiful picture of Christ’s love for His Bride, but joyfully content single people show the world just how sufficient His love is.
I hope you weren’t expecting a feel-good message about singleness and waiting on “the one”. This is not a blog about waiting on “the one”, because I’m not here to perpetuate this idea that you’re just floating through life waiting for God to bring you some human to make you happy and feel complete. Frankly, I don’t believe in “the one”. You, Christian, are waiting for “the one”, but that “One” is Jesus. You are waiting for Him to complete the work He has started in you. You are waiting to, one day, be in perfect union with the one who created you. You will have a wedding one day no matter if you are single your entire life or not. And in that waiting, you can have a wildly amazing life living like you are fully loved, because you are.
Don’t let the life God has for you pass by because you are waiting on a person you think will make you happy. His love is sufficient! Don’t let the American culture and American church mentality that you are second-class hold you back any longer like it did me. Pursue your dreams and passions with the one who gave them to you. Reject the mentality that you are less-than just because you are not married. You are not less-than, just different-than. Singleness isn’t easy, but receive it like the gift it is and commit your life to The Lord.
