This month I am in Haiti staying at a missionary compound. The pastor here, Jean Claude, is an amazing man of God. He and everyone else staying here, are so kind and hospitable. There are about 30 people living here and it is such an example to me of what community in the church looks like. I wake up around 5 every morning and people are waking up one at a time to do their daily tasks and start cooking breakfast. I love to see people spread out all over in the house in the mornings. It reminds me of how little we really need as I see live in residents sleeping on the floors or in cots that they store up during the day. We are so blessed to have running water this month to shower and toilets-PRAISE GODJ and every other day we have energy turned on by a generator. Its amazing!
When we first drove into Port-au-prince on Saturday I was speechless. That feeling doesn’t happen to me often. I had seen it on the news and I had heard stories but it never hit me until I was in the shadow of the valley of death. At home, watching the news never really breaks my heart like it should. I feel bad for the people but I have been so de-sensitized I never hurt for them. It started to hurt when I drove in and it scared me. I have started waking up to the fact that this is real. Six months after the earthquake people have been forced to go back to their normal lives as best they can even though they are in the middle of disaster.
Right now God is teaching me how to feel. I want my heart to break when His breaks. I want to feel for His children that are living in this disaster. I want to cry out to Him in prayer and really feel for them and intercede. I think its very easy for me to feel joy for others and dance and be filled with the Holy Spirit when it’s a high emotion but I really struggle getting passionate for people when it’s a low. I know God is going to do something great though. I have no doubt He is going to make my heart like His so that when I see His children hurting my heart will hurt with His.
Sunday morning I was blessed to go to pastor Jean Claude’s church. As I worshipped in a room of people who live in tents and aren’t sure how they’ll eat their next meal, I was surrounded by some of the richest people I’ve ever met. The Haitians at Jean Claude’s church are so full of joy! Though they are struggling right now, I was overwhelmed by the riches they have for themselves in eternity. They worship holding nothing back and for hours on end. Their usual church services last 5-6 hours long. No one here is worried about getting to lunch like most of us are in the states-most of them don’t have lunch to eat or even homes to go home to. This is what it looks like to rely on God. But they don’t worship God in sorrow crying out because of how hard their lives are and they don’t rely on Him just because He is all they have. They worship God because no matter what is around them they believe He is worthy of all of our praise.
I want to take that home from Haiti.
I want to worship God because I’m so in love with Him again and because He is worthy. I’m tired of worshiping because “you’re supposed to” or because I’m seeking help from His hand. I want to worship Him solely because He is worthy of all my praise.
Today we are going up into the mountains to meet up with another world race team and help out in an orphanage. I’m so excited but pretty sure God is going to break my heart through my love for children-my heart is aligned with His in that and it makes me smile to even type that. I can’t wait to see how God aligns my heart even more with His this month.
Please keep Haiti in your prayers and pray that God will make you more like them. As Americans we all need the passion that they have. I fully believe that Jesus didn’t die on a cross for us to just read and obey and have grace when we screw up. I believe He died so that His grace can cover us so we can go before Him with boldness and have a relationship with Him that aligns our hearts with His so that we can bring the kingdom.
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
