If you aren’t comfortable drowning in God’s presence you will have to come up for air…… words from my squad leader, Erica.
I have gotten rocked by the Lord the last two months.
I have felt silence.
I have felt alone.
I have been angry and
I have also experienced his great love over and over again.
I have been trying to process the amazing things that have happened since India.
Also the amazing things that happened in India.
And what the Lord is doing right now in Nepal.
It is more than I have ever taken on before.
Please have grace at my attempt to catch you up…
India:
Sometimes there aren’t words for the things that you see and experience. I have seen the slums and lowest cast communities of southern India and felt more generosity than ever before in my life. How is that?
It is because when you mix Indian hospitality and the Spirit of the Lord, it is like meeting Jesus face to face. It is because they give their best even if it is all they have. I had to realize that I have never truly given my best, sometimes not even to those I love.
I repent, oh Lord.
I am humbled by your humility and love, like when you sent your best: your son to die on the cross for my sin. I think it was hard to write about anything in India, because I know and I knew then that I was not giving my best.
The wonderful thing about our Savior is that even in our weakness; he is strong! I saw him light up the faces of children who sang worship to him in both my tongue and theirs. I witnessed healing and love that only he could outpour from my friends and team. I was there when he released a woman from a demonic spirit that held her captive for 9 years. I saw the devotion of servants that have set aside all of their own plans and surrendered to his will, and they live in is abundant grace. When I left I saw that he will be there growing the kingdom and expanding hearts to know him better. Oh, how faithful is my King!
Nepal:
Halleluiah for the mountains and green! I say this because although there are beautiful parts of India, I was in a dry barren part of south India. In Nepal there is green EVERYWHERE! I love that our Creator is so creative! When we arrived in Nepal I immediately felt the lift of Spiritual oppression that we had in India. It is really hard to explain what that is like unless you have experienced it first hand. Being in a place that worships many Gods, but does not know the only God that loves back is a very oppressing place to be. With that being said, much of Nepal is the same way. I sit here at a western-style coffee shop staring out the window at a worship temple made for a god that will never hear the cries of the people, or know their names, or answer their prayers.
This month we are teamed up with a ministry host that is passionate about the Spirit of the Lord! We will call him B. This month is special because our entire squad is together. I am living with 50 people! What?!
Yes, it is hard.
But also very good.
This is called All-Squad Month. We have the privilege of living and doing ministry together all month. Although most days we are still with our teams in ministry, we change ministry every week here instead of monthly. B is very passionate about the Lords presence. Every morning before we go to ministry we meet at a separate location that is about a 10 minute walk from home for AMAD (a-mod). This is the Nepali style of getting into the Lords presence and making time to hear what the Father says. We worship for 45 minutes, hear a testimony from someone on the squad, and then for 1 hour we rest in the Lords presence. This is to build intimacy with the Lord, and also to be filled up before we go and try to pour out. We have to receive Grace and Mercy before we share it.
I believe this process is growing all of us. I have learned how precious this is because much like the way I did not give my best in India, I try by my own strength here in Nepal to do ministry. (I’ll share more on this below).
But here is a happy story from week one of ministry.
Bowling with the slum boys.
Our first ministry was to go into the slums and teach an English class to boys ages 14-21. Now Nepali boys that are 14-21 years old are much more like 7-16 year-old American boys. In all the ways: maturity, size, experience. We have been working with them in conversational English and trying to keep them in one spot. Slum boys are highly distracted! At the end of our week we wanted to share something special with them so we decided to take a small group to the local mall to go bowling. For the 7 boys we took it was many of their first time on an escalator, first time in the mall, and first time bowling and seeing arcade games. It was an overwhelming experience for them and for us keeping up with them; but it was 100% worth it when I saw their faces light up when we started bowling! Things in Nepal are very “cheap” when you have American money so for us to take 7 boys bowling, pay for it, the bus fare there and back, and to feed them lunch it only cost $7 USD a person. Best $7 I’ve EVER spent!
Now I am referring back to what I said earlier about leaning on my own strength. This is why things have been very difficult. I am much more stubborn and interested in doing things my way than I care to admit. But here is a great reminder for everyone:
Psalm 119 is a longer passage, but believe me… it is worth the read. All of these are things that I did not notice in my life until I was put into more uncomfortable situations and this passage has never meant more.
Psalm 119
1-8 You’re blessed when you stay on course,
walking steadily on the road revealed by God.
You’re blessed when you follow his directions,
doing your best to find him.
That’s right—you don’t go off on your own;
you walk straight along the road he set.
You, God, prescribed the right way to live;
now you expect us to live it.
Oh, that my steps might be steady,
keeping to the course you set;
Then I’d never have any regrets
in comparing my life with your counsel.
I thank you for speaking straight from your heart;
I learn the pattern of your righteous ways.
I’m going to do what you tell me to do;
don’t ever walk off and leave me.
At the end of the day I am learning to MAKE THE MAIN THING ABOUT THE MAIN THING. THE MAIN THING IS ABOUT WORSHIPING GOD AND MAKING HIM KNOWN TO OTHERS. Sometimes we have to go through the fire to be refined. And that iron sharpening iron thing is no fun.. but he is Holy and Holiness is worth the single minded pursuit even when the storms rage.
Hebrews 6:9-12
I’m sure that won’t happen to you, friends. I have better things in mind for you—salvation things! God doesn’t miss anything. He knows perfectly well all the love you’ve shown him by helping needy Christians, and that you keep at it. And now I want each of you to extend that same intensity toward a full-bodied hope, and keep at it till the finish. Don’t drag your feet. Be like those who stay the course with committed faith and then get everything promised to them.
Thank you for your prayers and for following and keeping up with me. I will do better about keeping you updated in what the Lord is doing through me and through you!
