Walking as a mzungu (white person) through Kenya is quite the experience. I strike fear into the hearts of small children, who start crying immediately when they see me. Having probably never seen someone who is not a Kenyan before, I must look like an alien to them. The older children, though, somehow manage to spot me from miles away and start running. “Mzungu, mzungu!” they chant. They then begin asking repeatedly “How are you? How are you?”
Now, in Kenya, there is only one right answer to most questions. And when asked “how are you?” they will always respond with “fine.” Our old teammate Cadence liked to joke that the word fine stands for Feelings Inside Not Expressed, meaning that if you say you are fine, there is something you are not saying.
The kids here will not tell you that they are sad because they are orphaned and miss their parents, that they are in pain because they have been beaten for misbehaving, that they are hungry because they have not eaten that day.
I do not tell them I am feeling overwhelmed because they have made me to be a spectacle, that I am frustrated because I walk to be alone and am now surrounded by people. Me? I am fine.
then again, I also don’t tell them that I am in love with this country and that my heart feels truly alive here. They don’t say that seeing me brightens their day. We always just say we are fine.
We do this in the States, too. When asked how we are, we usually don’t express how we really feel. Maybe it is time to stop hiding behind “fine” and be real with one another. The next time you are asked “how are you?” be honest and see what happens.
